SUCCESS RULE # 53 – Show Favoritism

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Success Rule # 53 – Show Favoritism

Let’s face it you probably already do.  Research has shown it is human nature for us to do so.  Mothers favor an oldest son, fathers their youngest daughter, in the workplace we tend to show favor toward people we like and/or who are like us.  In the bible, Proverbs 14:35 Kings favor those who are competent and discipline those who fail them.  Heck, when I applied for a GSA government contract I was asked who my most favored clients were and that I must give the same pricing to the government.  Yet favoritism is a topic that isn't formally discussed except perhaps around the water cooler, and when it is, the information out there tends to suggest it’s a bad thing.  To be clear, it can be.  It’s a fine line.  When we recognize others at the office, some will call it favoritism.  Some will consider favoritism discrimination.  Is there a difference?  Absolutely!

So how do I define favoritism?  First we must understand that we already don’t treat everyone the same, nor should we.  You see, I’m not a supporter of communism.  High performers should be recognized.  Behavioral or performance issues must be addressed.  And a single leadership style doesn't work for everyone.  If there is a critical project that requires a lot of cooperation and coordination, and cannot afford to fail, who would you assign it to?  Someone you feel confident will succeed?  Or the individual who is obnoxious and seemingly alienates co-workers and customers alike?  Do you award a cash bonus to the employee whose productivity is below the standard?  I say favor your top performers.  Favor your go getters.  Favor those who have the mission and entire team in their best interest.  Be for warned, there are going to be those who don’t understand the rules and will complain.  That’s good, it simply suggests they want to be a part of the inner circle and are letting you know.  However…whatever you do, don’t “take care” of them.  Be careful not to just give them what they want because they complained.  In other words don’t placate them.  Instead “care about” them.  Care enough to let them know what it takes to achieve favored status; trust, integrity, reliability, be proactive, practice excellence in all they do and exercise service to the mission and the team.  Coach them.  Encourage them.  Publicly recognize their successes.

Research has shown favoritism, as I've defined it here, has been successful when relationships are reciprocal and cooperative, performance is high and interest is in the team and the mission.  As a result there is less turnover, reviews are more positive, high promotion rates, greater organizational commitment, more desired work assignments and overall – better attitudes.  Your goal then should be to strive to bring everyone into your inner circle. 

Here are some tips on how to do it successfully.

1.   Be outcome focused versus playing to your emotions.  Keep it professional, not personal.

2.   Ensure assignments, promotions, recognition, perks and pay are based strictly upon objective performance measures.

3.   Show equal opportunity for favoritism.  Treat everyone fairly, if not necessarily the same.  Articulate clearly what it takes.

4.   Be mindful of what you are doing–think back to before you were a supervisor, or in a leadership position, and evaluate whether you might feel a particular action based on your decision

5.   When showing favoritism, don’t flaunt it.

6.   Create an environment where any employee feels comfortable discussing a perceived injustice

7.   Be transparent—it contributes to a culture of trust, which can sooth ruffled feathers before hurt feelings can fester and turn a situation far more sour

8.   Manage negative preferential perceptions proactively—it’s much easier to nip the mis-perception in the bud up front, than it is to “put out the fire” once it’s raging

9.   If at all possible, avoid family relationships within the workplace.  If this isn't possible, apply the highest performance standard possible.  Remember that why you are showing favoritism in the first place.

In closing I must point out what favoritism, again as I define it, is NOT.  It is not based on your emotions or feelings (who you like, or don’t like).  It is not the, ‘”Good ‘ol boy network”.  Favoritism is not about race, color, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.  It is not about who your buddy, pal, girl friend or BFF is.  It is not about the neighborhood you grew up in, or the school you went to.  And it is definitely not nepotism.  Now – it doesn't mean these individuals can’t be favored, just be sure you are following the rules for success.  As far as the kids - love ‘em all the same.

Do you have an experience with the perception of favoritism that adds to the discussion? Post a comment on our Facebook page so we can all benefit from the lessons learned.

Be Extraordinary!  You’re my favorite!

Anthony Tormey
Founder & CEO
Leader Development Institute
www.LdiWorld.com

SUCCESS RULE # 52 – Expect Excellence: In yourself and others

Before we get started, let’s put things into perspective. During my presentations, I sometimes ask my audiences if they are good at what they do; most individuals acknowledge that they are. Perhaps you do as well.

When asked to associate a word with the left end of a 1 to 10 point line scale (the number 1), many refer to the word poor, or unacceptable. Asked again to identify the far right of the scale (number 10), I often hear excellent or best. So when completing the association, what we typically see is, “Poor” (1), “Good” (5) and “Excellent”(10). So what does that make “Good”? Well just average, mediocre, middle of the road. So, let me ask . . . “Are you ‘good’ at what you do?”

When striving for excellence in yourself, here are several things to consider.
1.) Define excellence as a core value. Make it a part of who you are. When others think of excellence let them think of you.
2.) Be mindful. When faced with a decision or moral dilemma, ask yourself, “Is what I am about to do moving me closer to, or further away from excellence?”
3.) Know what excellence is. Make excellence your standard.
4.) Pay attention to the details. See each project, goal, even the smallest of tasks that you do, as great and noble.
5.) Don’t confuse excellence with perfection. Perfectionism can derail you from excellence in that there is actually a diminishing return in your quest to be perfect. (Click here for Excellence vs Perfection outline))
6.) Think in terms of incremental improvements versus revolutionary change. Olympic athletes measure their success in seconds and tenths of a point.
7.) Compete with yourself.
8.) Watch the movies Lincoln and Iron Lady; read Martin Luther King’s speech, “I Have a Dream” and Rudyard Kipling’s poem, “If”.

When striving to instill excellence in others.
1.) Create a culture of excellence. Start with defining excellence as an organizational/family core value. It requires changing the way others think.
2.) Practice what you preach. Exemplify excellence in your own work. Inspire others with it.
3.) Be clear with your expectations . . . without expecting perfection. Set others up for success.
4.) Use rewards to reinforce culture versus simply performance.
5.) DO NOT take care of others, instead CARE ABOUT THEM. In others words encourage them, challenge them, appreciate them, hold them accountable, but whatever you do, do not enable them. It might be easier/quicker to do it yourself – don’t. You may not want to deal with the subsequent confrontation – deal with it.
For 2014 let’s not settle for being good at what we do. Remember, we are what we are expected to be, and so it is, others too have the propensity to live up to what is expected of them. Expect mediocrity and mediocrity is what you will get. Expect excellence and excellence is what you will have.

“Be Extraordinary”! - Let it be a way of life, not just a catch phrase.

Anthony Tormey

Founder & CEO

Leader Development Institute

www.LdiWorld.com

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