Have you thought about your success lately?

Have you thought about your success lately?  Have you reviewed your life, scratched your head and said “Hmmmm”?  Has your definition of success changed since you were a teenager planning your future?  Maybe it’s time to look at what success really, is or can be for you.

No matter where you are in your life, just starting out, getting ready to retire, or somewhere in between, you can still dream.  And, dream you should.

Every individual has the power to become successful by their own definition.  What is your definition of success?

Don't forget to visit us online at www.LdiWorld.com to find out how to get "Your Personal Handbook for Success".

SUCCESS, IT'S EVERYTHING YOU THINK IT IS

Success in life depends on 2 things . . . What you THINK you can do and the amount of EFFORT you're willing to put forth to accomplish it. Everything you do is created twice; the first is in your thoughts. Before it can be created it MUST be dreamed. They are YOUR dreams so you might as well DREAM BIG. There is a book/movie out there titled "The Secret", you may have heard of it, or even watched it. I liked it. It's one of those inspirational, feel good, self-help pieces of work. The "Secret", according to the writer, and the "gurus" who are featured is, "The Law of Attraction". This I also believe. We do attract what we think about. But here is the REAL secret - you have to get off your butt and do something about it.

 Success is like a garden. You can plant the seed, but if that's all you do and don't water and feed the seed or nurture and protect the plants, you will end up with a garden over run with weeds, insects, varmints and other things you don't need - or want. On the other hand, if you till the soil, prepare the earth, add some fertilizer, water it, discard any unwanted weeds and maintain the garden, it will blossom into beautiful flowers, vegetables, etc. The same holds true for our thoughts and dreams, you have to plant the seed (your dream, thoughts, etc). But then here comes the LDI "Secret". Get back out there and do something about it. Get your hands dirty, feed the dream with action. Find the weeds that are choking you, the bad habits, old baggage, haters and others who are happy to see you fail, and pull them out, eradicate them and set boundaries to keep them from taking over your thoughts and dreams. Don't let them over run your garden or ruin your dreams. Next, leverage your dreams and look for opportunities to improve your success, something like adding fertilizer to help it grow. Find a coach or mentor, join a mastermind group, build a dream board, read, and associate with others who share your dreams. Finally get out there. Get dirty, take calculated risk, don’t be afraid to fail. Learn from the experience(s). Believe in yourself. If you don’t, why the heck would anyone else.

Be Extraordinary!

Anthony Tormey
Founder & President
Leader Development Institute

SUCCESS RULE # 52 – Expect Excellence: In yourself and others

Before we get started, let’s put things into perspective. During my presentations, I sometimes ask my audiences if they are good at what they do; most individuals acknowledge that they are. Perhaps you do as well.

When asked to associate a word with the left end of a 1 to 10 point line scale (the number 1), many refer to the word poor, or unacceptable. Asked again to identify the far right of the scale (number 10), I often hear excellent or best. So when completing the association, what we typically see is, “Poor” (1), “Good” (5) and “Excellent”(10). So what does that make “Good”? Well just average, mediocre, middle of the road. So, let me ask . . . “Are you ‘good’ at what you do?”

When striving for excellence in yourself, here are several things to consider.
1.) Define excellence as a core value. Make it a part of who you are. When others think of excellence let them think of you.
2.) Be mindful. When faced with a decision or moral dilemma, ask yourself, “Is what I am about to do moving me closer to, or further away from excellence?”
3.) Know what excellence is. Make excellence your standard.
4.) Pay attention to the details. See each project, goal, even the smallest of tasks that you do, as great and noble.
5.) Don’t confuse excellence with perfection. Perfectionism can derail you from excellence in that there is actually a diminishing return in your quest to be perfect. (Click here for Excellence vs Perfection outline))
6.) Think in terms of incremental improvements versus revolutionary change. Olympic athletes measure their success in seconds and tenths of a point.
7.) Compete with yourself.
8.) Watch the movies Lincoln and Iron Lady; read Martin Luther King’s speech, “I Have a Dream” and Rudyard Kipling’s poem, “If”.

When striving to instill excellence in others.
1.) Create a culture of excellence. Start with defining excellence as an organizational/family core value. It requires changing the way others think.
2.) Practice what you preach. Exemplify excellence in your own work. Inspire others with it.
3.) Be clear with your expectations . . . without expecting perfection. Set others up for success.
4.) Use rewards to reinforce culture versus simply performance.
5.) DO NOT take care of others, instead CARE ABOUT THEM. In others words encourage them, challenge them, appreciate them, hold them accountable, but whatever you do, do not enable them. It might be easier/quicker to do it yourself – don’t. You may not want to deal with the subsequent confrontation – deal with it.
For 2014 let’s not settle for being good at what we do. Remember, we are what we are expected to be, and so it is, others too have the propensity to live up to what is expected of them. Expect mediocrity and mediocrity is what you will get. Expect excellence and excellence is what you will have.

“Be Extraordinary”! - Let it be a way of life, not just a catch phrase.

Anthony Tormey

Founder & CEO

Leader Development Institute

www.LdiWorld.com

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SUCCESS RULE #46 - Practice Reciprocity

The late Zig Ziglar, a well-known author, sales trainer and motivational speaker, is credited with saying, “You can get anything in this world you want – as long as you are willing to help others get what they want”. Too often however our focus is either on what we want, or what we think others want from us. Furthermore, many of us attempt to keep score with a mentality akin to, “If you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Successful people don’t keep score, they simply develop the habit of serving others - unconditionally. They support their employees, they help the boss, they do for their spouse and children, and they give their neighbors a hand when they can. They understand when you act to please others; you’ll find others will be pleased to act.

I see this principle play out each time I use a training exercise where I put individuals into a scenario with opposing needs – to persuade the person standing across from them to come onto their side of a line. I tell them they can say or do whatever they wish to get the other person to cross the line. From the onset people typically argue their agenda and enter into negotiations to get what they want. On some occasions they even resort to physical force and pull the other person to their side of the line. The result is both parties resist, physically and emotionally. However, given time, or a little bit of facilitating, someone will usually figure out the principle of reciprocity and simply cross the line and join their partner on the other side. Once on the other side of the line they simply ask the other person, “Would you help me and go to the other side of the line?” Without hesitation, the majority, having just been given a gift – they had their goal satisfied before being asked for anything – are happy to comply with the request and cross to the other side of the line.

Teamwork, and your subsequent success, can be so much more effective when you consider the principle of reciprocity. Start by lending a helping hand. Is there a coworker having a difficult time with a task or project? Share your knowledge or ideas. Reach out to others voluntarily. 

Here’s an idea, keep a stash of giveaway items from the dollar store in your desk draw. In a previous job I gave a plastic Fire Chief Helmet to a coworker because they helped me put out some fires. From that point forward the other person was always ready and willing to help when I needed him. The helmet cost? Just ninety-nine cents!

This doesn’t just apply to work success. At home give time to your spouse, your children and other family members. Pay attention, listen, throw in a little eye contact for good measure, and look for the reciprocity to roll in.

Be Extraordinary! When you’re not being extraordinary, be awesome instead.

Click below to see reciprocity explained by Sheldon in a short clip from the television sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. 

Credit goes to CBS for this clip.

SUCCESS RULE # 44 - Be Tenacious!

Hello Success Rule Follower,

Once again my assistant, Cindy Lee, has written a very timely rule by pulling from her own background and success in life.  In this Success Rule, you can see how the definition of success is as individual as each of us.  Enjoy this glimpse into how tenacity can propel you toward success.

Anthony Tormey
Founder & CEO
Leader Development Institute

BE TENACIOUS!

Our last Success Rule, Don’t Let The Insecurities Of Others Affect Your Dreams, talked about how other people can affect your success.  What about how life affects your success?

In the mid 1980’s success was something I never thought I’d see.  At that particular point in my life, I was struggling with many things on many levels.  In an effort to regain some sanity in my life, I began seeing a counselor.  One of the roles of a counselor is to identify ones strengths and build on them. One assignment was for me to make a list of what I thought my strengths were.  My list was rather short.  The counselor, having known me for some time, started adding things to the list I had created.  One of those things was tenacity.  

Tenacity?  I wasn’t even sure what that was.  She explained that it’s like being an old bulldog with a bone.  No matter how hard you try to get it away from him that old dog isn’t giving up that bone.  She was right.  

Unable to work, I was recovering from major surgery, struggling with a divorce and custody hearings, financial issues, extended family problems, depression and the taking-one-step-forward-three-steps-back syndrome.  But, as the counselor pointed out, I was still taking that one step forward.

It was during that time period that I signed up for clerical classes and learned about the new technology of the word processor.  I brushed up on typing, filing, business math and whatever else would be useful in an office environment.  The one-step forward became two as I re-entered the work force.  I hung onto that bone and one by one, I overcame each of the obstacles that once seemed insurmountable.  

Learning as much as I could in each position I held, I moved up through different places of employment into various levels of management.  When technology advanced, I took night classes and continued to advance as well.  Feeling stagnant after eight years with one company, I picked up and moved across the state into to an entirely new field, never letting go of the idea that employment was a means to an end.  For me that meant someday not having to get up and go to work.

Today, I have a great husband, three grown children who have given me eight grandchildren; I work from home doing what I love and I choose not to let family opinion dictate my feelings. The ratio of steps has changed to many-steps-forward with the occasional one-step-back.  And, I continue to hang onto that bone!  Now my bone includes not giving up on the people I love.

When you feel like you are stuck in the three-steps-back mode, remember that you are still taking that all important one-step-forward.  Be that bulldog…and hang on to that bone! 

           

Cindy Lee

Executive Assistant Leader Development Institute

SUCCESS RULE # 43 - Don’t Let The Insecurities Of Others Affect Your Dreams

You are going to be surrounded by others who aren't familiar with the rules and tools for success. They are not going to know what you know. They are not going to be Success Rule Followers. Their level of success will be measured in terms of mediocrity. They will be quick to blame others and/or circumstances for their lack of success. "The economy really hasn't been good.". "The boss has their favorites and I'm not one of them." Here is my favorite, "I've been here 15 years and they still haven't promoted me.".  They will whine and complain, and they will want company. Don't drink from the poison well. Be careful, these dream busters come in all kinds of disguises, from the easily identifiable, obnoxious, miserable, grouchy S.O.B who takes pleasure in bringing you down, to the humble, "you didn't ask, but I'm going to give you my advice anyway", coworker, spouse, parent, sibling or BFF who just has your, "best interest at heart". I experienced it. Once I told co-workers I was going to join an elite organization in the US Air Force called Pararescue. What I heard was, "You know, you'll never make it". The said, "I hear the physical requirements are out of this world.". What they were really saying was, "Hey, stay with me in this lame job so we can continue to hang out (party, drink, play pool... )", or that they were too lazy to put in the time and effort it would take to be part of something extraordinary themselves. Today I'm proud to be a part of a brotherhood that continues to accept only those who know the rules for success, and want to be extraordinary - The US Air Force Pararescueman and Combat Rescue Officer.

The bottom line is these negative people will try and leave you with feelings of doubt, pangs of guilt, or take away from you your self-worth. Here are some tips to follow to avoid such kinds of people. The first and most obvious step is to separate yourself from them, kick them off the porch, dump 'em. In many situations it really is a lot easier than you think. Real friends don't put you down or hold you back. In fact, you will find your true best friend is the one that is growing and pursuing their own success right alongside you. They are as excited for you, as you are for them. If you instead find your friends, "encouraging" you to take the easy route, or they make you feel guilty for, "forgetting where you came from", maybe it is time you remember where you're going and forget about them. 

On the other hand there are those in your life that are not so easy to get rid of, such as family, and in many cases co-workers. They'll try to make you feel bad by telling you that all you care about is money and material things. At work they'll say, "There you go again, sucking up to the boss". Let me be clear. NO ONE will care more about your success than you do. Don't let someone else dictate your success. If it is someone you can't separate yourself from all together, then minimize your time with them. "But it's my mother", someone once said. OK. Thanksgiving or Christmas. Pick one. Alright, maybe that is not realistic, but I would still avoid interaction when I could. When it can't be avoided and you find yourself the subject of their teardown, be direct, firm and always polite/professional. Commit yourself to not sharing your plans with them. Change the topic and refuse to engage on the issue. Smile and excuse yourself from the conversation.

My final thought on this is to continue to nurture the seeds of thought that are planted in the garden of your mind by yourself and others. Remember to weed out the bad seeds, the negativity, the ones that steal away the food, water and nutrients of the dreams you planted.  

Be Extraordinary! When you’re not being extraordinary, be awesome instead.

SUCCESS RULE # 41 - Remember Where You Came From

Once again I have the privilege of bringing you an excellent rule written by my assistant Cindy Lee.  Read...Enjoy...and Remember! - Anthony Tormey

A few weeks ago, I was sorting through some old photos for one of my grown children.  In doing so, I came upon Christmas pictures from 1995.  At that time I was newly divorced and my mother had passed away earlier in the year.  My apartment was in a run-down center-city converted house.  The entire thing consisted of an ill-equipped kitchen, drafty living room, two small bedrooms and a minuscule bathroom.  It was what I could afford on a barely-more-than-minimum salary.  Despite all of that, the photos contained smiling faces.  Pictures of the ceremonial gift unwrapping, children sitting cross-legged on the floor, plates being balanced on knees and a tiny tree decorated and lit as if to be in a grand mansion.  The scenes evoked memories of that Christmas so very long ago.

Success meant something different then.  It meant making the rent each month, paying the gas bill, scraping together money for food and spending time with my family to share what little bit I had.  Oh, how far I have come since those days.

Memories are something we all have.  Remembering is something we all do.  However, the two are not necessarily the same thing. 

In “Success Rule 17, Know Thyself”, there is a list of techniques to get to know yourself a little better.  One of the techniques is to “look back” at your life.  Looking back at your life can be both pleasurable and painful.  These things contribute to who you are today.  You may wonder how that can advance your success right now.  The key is to remember where you came from.

Remembering where you came from, what you’ve been through and what you have felt leads to a better understanding of other people and situations.  A better understanding leads to success.   Seem simple?  Let’s take a look.

Example 1:  People make mistakes.  You’ve made mistakes.  In the past, when you made a mistake, how were you confronted about it?  Was it from someone who “got in your face”? Or, was it from someone who helped you understand the mistake and how to correct it? 

Example 2:  You receive a phone call from an irate boss, co-worker or acquaintance.  Do you reflect their attitude?  Or, do you try to understand the situation, allow them to vent and then work toward a solution?

Example 3:  You are in the break room and over hear someone talking about a bad relationship break up.  Do you run to another person and say…”Did you hear…?”  Or, do you wait for a private moment and say… “I am sorry I overheard, if there is anything I can do to help, let me know.”

The list can go on and on.  In each of these scenarios, which action or reaction would you consider to be that of a “successful” person?

Success is not measured only by paychecks and possessions; it is also measured by who you are.  What kind of a person you are.  Arrogant?  Demeaning?  Patient?  Understanding?  Do people turn around when they see you coming or are you approachable? 

You were the “new guy” once.  You’ve been that irate caller.  You’ve been through bad situations.  Draw from your memories and remember where you came from.  Coming from a place of understanding will move you toward success.

Remember where you came from and be Extraordinary in your future!

 

Cindy Lee

Executive Assistant

Leader Development Institute

SUCCESS RULE #36 - Learn to Let Go

Lighten up, let your hair down, have a little fun. As they say, "time flies when you're having fun".  Having a little fun on the job can help build rapport with those around you, facilitate open communication, and contribute to a positive work environment. Perhaps more importantly, a little humor can work to relieve tension on even the most stressful of days. For my Rules Followers, remember Rule Number 19b.

Keep in mind however, not all high jinx are well received. It's crucial to take into consideration your organization's culture and co-workers' perspectives when it comes to comic relief. Humor should be work appropriate and never mean spirited or at the expense of others . . . always use good judgment.

Avoid controversy. If there's even a question in your mind that your humor might offend your co-workers or spark an argument, go a different route.

Say no to sarcasm. People sometimes attempt to disguise sarcasm as humor and an indirect way of berating others. Sarcasm is rarely a good idea, so keep these types of comments to yourself.

Don't be a nuisance. There is a time and a place for everything. Know your office culture. Know the people you work with. And, don't send spam emails to people who don't want them. Don't forget, there's still a job to do.

There are of course certain days of the year that lend themselves to bringing humor to the office, April Fools, Halloween, co-worker birthdays to name a few, but no need to start or stop there. Bring humor to staff meetings with a cartoon or a joke; take turns bringing them to the table. You have a file for everything else; create a "Funny File". Have fun saying, "Thank you". Give a co-worker a Baby Ruth candy bar, for hitting, "The ball out of the park" on a recent task. One time I gave a Chief Master Sergeant, a plastic fireman's helmet that said 'Chief' for saving my butt and helping me to put out some fires in the office the week before.

Here are some April Fools' jokes that have been observed in an office environment. Use double sided tape underneath a colleague's mouse so it doesn't move. Using an old but similar looking keyboard, fill it with loose dirt, some grass seed, after watering it for a while and once the grass has grown, replace the co-workers keyboard with the one with grass. Turn everything backward in one person's office -- the computer, desk and pictures; change the keys on a keyboard; fill a colleague's office with balloons.

Other ways to keep things lighthearted around the office:

Be the butt of your own joke.  Go ahead, poke fun at yourself. Doing so can put others at ease in your presence, and you don't risk offending someone else by making him or her the target of your joke.

 Learn to laugh with others. You can be perceived as having a great sense of humor without ever telling a joke. Just tune in to the humor styles of those around you and share in the fun.

Convene a fun committee. Invite co-workers to join in your quest to "up the office fun factor." Together, brainstorm ways to add excitement to the workweek -- Just be sure to consult your department head before executing any plans; you'll want to obtain his or her approval and determine other details, such as budget and scheduling.

Issue trivia quizzes via email. Most people enjoy keeping up with pop culture, why not create a friendly competition around it? You also can grill people on sports, geography or food -- whatever topics the team finds interesting. Even if the only prize for answering the most questions correctly is posting the name of the winner in a prominent spot, the joy of conjuring up random information and discussing the "stumpers" can increase the general playfulness of any work area.

Capture Kodak moments.  Keep the cell phone cameras on hand for all to use and capture those moments when you and your colleagues are at your best -- or worst. Then, post the pictures on a community bulletin board, internal email or intranet. Ask for captions.  Had I thought about it, a candid snapshot of the Chief wearing a kiddy fireman's helmet would have brought a lot of laughs (Be sure to ask the subject(s) of your photo their permission before submitting or posting)

A culture of fun at work can improve communication, reduce stress and increase productivity. Flexing your funny bone can significantly enhance your professional prospects. Remember, in a recent survey, ninety-one percent of executives consider a sense of humor important to career advancement. Don't be afraid to flex your funny bone -- just be sure to do so in a business-appropriate way. See aprilfoolzone.com for more antics.

Go ahead, Yuck it up! Be Extraordinary!

SUCCESS RULE #35 Learn To Let It Go

You can be bitter or you can be better.  As a follower of the Rules and Tools, I want you to choose to be better.  During the course of your success, you will undoubtedly come across those who don’t know the rules. Perhaps it’s that difficult person, or someone who will intentionally lie or cross you, even hurt you (physically, financially or emotionally). Whether it is disappointment, frustration or anger, we very often carry this emotional burden long after the initial experience. Soon it begins to weigh heavy on us and becomes exhausting, sometimes consuming us in our thoughts and actions. We then lose focus of what the rules are and begin to make poor decisions.

During my career I’ve known many people who harbored ill feelings and emotions about another person, or a past situation that just gnawed at them. Some carried this baggage around for several years, their actions resulting in physical and emotional illness, countless arguments, and in some cases illegal behavior, all because they didn’t let it go.  Have you ever been so angry with someone, just the sight, or even thought of them made you physically ill?

Instead, learn to let it go - let go of the fight. Ask yourself, why do I allow this person/situation to have control over me? How much time do I spend worrying, or worse scheming? Ask instead, what can I do to learn from this experience? How can I affect the situation? It is what it is. What’s done is done. Now, what MUST I do to move on? Forgive? Accept? Understand? Today we have so many veterans who have experiences many of us can NEVER relate to, from missing limbs to sights and sounds that will last them a life time . . . yet, if and when they learn to “let it go”, they have extraordinary success in their lives as entrepreneurs, business leaders, in sports and hobbies, surely you can let go of the petty office politics, getting laid off,  the last argument that has estranged you from a parent, a sibling, an ex-spouse, or child.

What else can you let go? Self-determinants?  Old paradigms?  Grudges?  Stereotypes?

You are awesome. Be Extraordinary! Let it go.

SUCCESS RULE #34 Learn How to Deal with People who are Different Then You

Difficult people.  Everyone seems to know one. You can probably think of your own nemesis right now. Truth be told, in all my research, it turns out there are only about a dozen really obnoxious, rude difficult people in the whole world. That’s right only about 12. Now . . . word has it they move around a lot so chances are you may have come across more than just one.  OK, so I’m kidding. In most cases however, most individuals aren’t so much difficult as they are simply different.  Think about this.  Who do you get along with? Who do you like to hang out with?  Who do you like to work with? Most likely it’s others who are similar to you. They do things the way you do, they think the way you, and they communicate the same way you communicate.  When others see things differently, have different expectations, opinions, or values, we label them as “difficult”. Remember, these rules are about success, you’re success, not who’s right or wrong, or who has a better way to do something, and it’s definitely not about being something that you are not. Instead it’s about what it takes for you to be successful.

Think about traveling to a non-English speaking country. Sure if it was just a weeks’ vacation or a short trip you might get by without learning any of the language, just hang close to your tour group, the resort you booked .  .  .  the people who are just like you. But if you are going to travel off the beaten path, or spend a considerable amount of time there, it would do you well to learn the language and some of the local culture if you expect to have a successful trip or visit; same at work, with family or in your neighborhood. Learn a little about that “difficult” person in your life, what is their leadership style, their communication style? Try and see the world through their eyes.  Remember, it’s not about the other person being difficult; it’s about you having extraordinary success. But of course, you can fight to be right and instead choose to lose.

You’re Awesome. Be Extraordinary!

SUCCESS RULE #33 - Never Cover Up for Someone Else

 

Being extraordinarily successful at what you do means that you have the highest of standards for yourself and others. When you do, you may come across others who won’t have your standards and will try to bring you down to their level or involve you in their games. Don’t put up with it. Never get involved with covering for someone else’s poor performance or behavior.

If you decide to cover up for others it will complicate your life. Who do you cover for? Your friends? Those who have authority over you?  Or just anyone who asks? Do you cover up just the little things or do you allow for big issues? Does a little cover up suck you into a bigger one? What will you say when you get caught? What will you tell your family when you are fired? All for what?  Someone else?

You don’t cover up because you don’t lie, cheat or steal - nor tolerate those who do. It really is that simple. The decision is an easy one – if you live by your success rules. People already know where you stand. You’ve lived by these success rules and conducted your life as such. If you are approached, be assertive and with confidence simply say ‘No’.  The first time may be difficult, awkward perhaps, however it becomes easier and your reputation will be set in that you do not involve yourself with these things.

Your challenge however will be dealing with the emotional blackmail that often comes with your refusal to play their game. This too is easier once you realize, simply by asking you, this person does not have your best interest at heart.

Just remember, a real friend, and others with extraordinary character such as yourself, won’t ask in the first place.

You’re Awesome. Be Extraordinary!

Success Rule # 32 - Don't Lie

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche.

Lying and untruths is never a good thing. Even “small white lies” sets the stage for doubt and distrust. When we lie nothing good comes of it either. Oh there may be some short term gain but at what expense? Must you involve others in your cover-up? How much time must you spend in crafting a story? To prevent future recrimination or embarrassment will you have to tell another, maybe bigger lie?

Lying and untruths is never a good thing. Even "small white lies" sets the stage for doubt and distrust. When

we lie nothing good comes of it either. Oh there may be some short term gain but at what expense? Must you involve others in your cover-up? How much time must you spend in crafting a story? To prevent future recrimination or embarrassment will you have to tell another, maybe bigger lie?

Late for work, blame it on the traffic or an accident. Instead take responsibility. If it's chronic, the lies are going to dry up. Leave earlier. You say you understand when you don't. It's a lie. You don't want to look silly or stupid so you say you do. Then you get it wrong and look more foolish. Simply explain you want to do an excellent job, and ask for clarification. You'll be appreciated for it. "I'd be happy to", you say. It's a lie. You're not happy to do it, you're up to your eyeballs and it's just one more, "Would you mind" on your plate. Perhaps learning to say no without burning bridges is in order, versus over committing and under delivering.
 

Some lies may even go undetected. These are the worst. Perhaps an embellishment of who you are or what you've done. As a retired military member, I learn of individuals who steal the honor of those who served by lying about their role in the military, medals they've never earned, jobs they've never held. There is no honor in lying. In truth these undiscovered lies have a greater capacity to erode who we really are, our self-esteem - our very self-worth.

Lying is hard. Telling the truth is easy. When you tell the truth you don't have to keep track of what you said. No need to spend time crafting a story, figuring out what you're going to say to whom. Decisions are easier. No need to think about what to lie about, just tell the truth. No real thought, no uncomfortable choices, no guilt, no fear, no recrimination, no embarrassment. It's healthier, no stress, and no anxiety of being caught.
 

Finally when you are known for telling the truth, you will have the respect of others. Others will seek you out for your advice and you won't be asked to cover up for someone else.

When we deceive others it is disrespectful, difficult and complicated
... it is the most personal act of cowardice there is. It cost a lot to maintain a lie, whereas the truth is free.

The truth never changes . . . or does it?

Become a fan on Facebook and let me know what you think. www.facebook.com/successtraining

Be Extraordinary!

Success Rule # 31 - Take Care of Your Success

No one cares more about your career than you do. Not your spouse, not your supervisor, manager or your senior leadership. Don’t get me wrong, if they’re extraordinary leaders they will care, but never more than you. It’s the old adage - If you don’t care enough to be concerned about your own success, why would anyone else?

Most of the people we interact with will be good people, caring, helpful and if asked supportive. Unfortunately there are also those who are miserable, the ones who make life difficult, jealous coworkers, who given the opportunity, will stab you in the back and be your nemesis. Fortunately, truth be told, there aren’t a lot of these miserable people around, only about a dozen in the whole country. However, they move around .  .  .  A LOT! So you may have come across one or two, but don’t worry, it’s extremely rare that you will cross paths with all twelve of them. Don’t be afraid of them but do be aware one maybe lurking nearby.

As you experience more success in your life you will also attract the attention of both leadership, supporters and your detractors. They will come disguised as supervisors, coworkers, friends and family. For extraordinary success, continue to develop a network of supporters and friends and minimize contact with those who are toxic and negative, or worse hostile and who may not have your best interest at heart. This includes supervisors who may be threatened by your success or because of your success, will try and hold you back because “you’re too valuable to the team”. Co-workers may be threatened by your success due to their own agenda, or perhaps jealousy, concern for changes your success might bring, or opposing values. Family or friends who guilt you into mediocrity because success is turning you in to “one of them”. Your success is their failure. 

In all cases you must maintain your integrity, continue to focus on the overall mission, and practice interpersonal and effective communication skills that compliment your success. You don’t want to become “one of them” and step on others to get ahead. At the same time you don’t want to be drug down, taken advantage of, or stepped all over either. You are instead the standard in which all others will be judged and others will judge themselves. You are the compass others will follow.

Be Extraordinary!

Success Rule # 30 - Maintain a Success Portfolio

A success portfolio is simply a way to provide evidence of your productivity. Why is this important? First, it is a constant reminder of, and accountability to, your success. If you've followed these rules and tools, you will recall the first rule is, Success . . . it's everything you think it is. Success builds confidence, confidence leads to success, and success builds . . . well you get the picture.

Secondly it's a resource to refer back to, not only so as to improve on previous successes, but also to be able to refer back to when it's time for your review. Ideally one would expect an immediate supervisor to be aware and knowledgeable of what we've accomplished over the past year when it comes time for our annual review. The truth of the matter is they typically don't know what you've done for the past few months, much less for the past year. Instead your review becomes simply a snapshot of the past several weeks versus a compilation of the whole year .  .  .  unless you have a success portfolio.

With a well-constructed success portfolio you can either provide it to your supervisor, bring it with you for your review, or use it yourself and write an "executive" overview to give to your reviewer. I first learned this technique in its simplest form as a young Lieutenant in the Air Force. My supervisor called me in to go over my Officer Performance Report. I was totally taken aback by the lack of information he had written about me. It was at that moment I realized no one cares more about my career than I do. From that point forward I kept a log of all my projects, accomplishments, letters of appreciation and anything I felt important enough to record or keep. Never again did I receive a poorly written review.

It is said luck isn't anything more than when preparation meets opportunity. In other words, we create our own luck by being prepared. You're at a business card exchange, a cocktail party or industry conference and during conversations you meet someone who is interested in your work, your services, or can perhaps further your career. You arrive at a follow-up meeting with your success portfolio, or you send one via email, it may just get you that new job or client you were looking for. Click here for additional tips on creating a Success Portfolio that Rocks!!!  

Be Extraordinary!

 

TIPS FOR CREATING A SUCCESS PORTFOLIO

 

WHY SUCCESS PORTFOLIOS WORK

Success portfolios work so well because:
* They provide tangible evidence of your productivity. By contrast, most applicants base their employment pitches solely on uncorroborated promises of their productivity. In other words, actions speak louder than words.
* Employment pitches that feature impressive materials appeal to multiple senses. Therefore, they are more vivid and memorable than oral pitches alone.
* Your competition probably won't take the time and trouble to create a success portfolio. Therefore, your success portfolio will help you prove to interviewers that you are more organized and thoughtful than other applicants.
* Your portfolio will leave your interviewers with an indelible impression that will linger long after you have left the interview.

 

WHAT YOUR SUCCESS PORTFOLIO SHOULD LOOK LIKE

Your success portfolio should be a portfolio with pockets that holds a well-formatted, hard-copy version of your resume, your business card, and a sample of documents that validate your relevant successes. If your achievements involve the Web, you may bring a device with an Internet connection with your relevant Web sites bookmarked, so that you can easily show them during your interview. However, if you choose this method, be sure to have a back-up plan in case you do not have an Internet connection in your interview office.
Some tips on creating an impressive hard-copy success portfolio:
* When you're invited to an interview, ask for each interviewer's name and title. If possible, provide each interviewer with his or her own portfolio that is labeled with their name and leave it with him or her when you leave the interview. Bring extra copies of your portfolio for unanticipated readers.
* Emphasize key text in the portfolio with a highlighter. Label and annotate your materials so they are self-explanatory to hiring managers who may review your portfolio after the interview is over. Identify your contributions to group projects.
* During your interview, artfully weave your success portfolio into the conversation. Introduce your portfolio with pride and confidence but without cockiness.
* Remember: preparing an impressive portfolio is time-consuming. So don't leave its preparation to the last minute.

 

TYPES OF DOCUMENTS TO INCLUDE IN YOUR SUCCESS PORTFOLIO

* Excellent performance evaluations; praising emails from managers, colleagues or clients; evaluations from conferences, trainings or other events you helped organize; major awards and their justifications; and written recommendations from your references.
* Writing samples, such as reports, articles, newsletters, press releases and associated press clips.
* Print-outs of PowerPoint presentations you prepared or delivered.
* Programs from events you organized or conferences that featured your work.
* Explanatory maps, charts and photographs.
* Samples of artwork or manufactured products that you helped produce.
* Students and recent grads: your transcripts, copies of your relevant papers (preferably with praising comments from professors) or a list of your relevant courses or papers that received high grades.

Copyright 2012
Rules and Tools for Success
Leader Development Institute, www.LDiWorld.com, 888-474-8534

Success Rule #29 - How to Form a Mastermind Alliance

In previous rules I discussed the need to be self-aware of the seeds you sow - your goals, dreams, vision, New Year resolutions, etc. - and what it is you think about. To help, it’s important to have many different sources that continue to remind and reinforce those thoughts and hence your success. In Tool Number 28 I spoke about creating your own Vision/Dream Board with a picture and a link to examples. If you are looking for a way to take your thinking to the next level, becoming a member or starting your own mastermind alliance may be a solution worthy of your consideration. The benefits that a well-organized mastermind group can bring to your business and your life can be invaluable.

 Although there are a number of interpretations of what a master mind alliance (group) is, generally speaking it is a group of likeminded individuals gathering together (in person or on the phone) in the interest of accomplishing individual or collective transformational and extraordinary results. Napoleon Hill in the 1930's. studied 500 of the richest, most successful people alive, at that time, the concept of the Master Mind group is one of the success factors he identified (Click here and listen to Napoleon Hill). But even in the 1930s it wasn’t new. The founding fathers of the United States were a mastermind alliance. The great philosophers Plato and Socrates formed mastermind alliances in the day. Today many modern day entrepreneurs meet regularly to further their success. Do you? Could you? Should you? If you want extraordinary success in your life consider starting your own master mind alliance.

Happy Masterminding, and remember shape your life by choosing who you spend time with and start examining the people that you spend the most time around. If the people that you are spending the most time with are enabling you towards your best self then great, if they are not start meeting new people who will support and enable you to become the best person you can be and it will show in your business!

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

—Margaret Mead

Lay the ground rules. When creating or joining a mastermind group, it is crucial to establish a clear-cut sense of purpose. Everyone in the group must buy into the purpose. These early stages of development are critical to the group's future success. If everyone in the group had a different expectation, disaster would be inevitable. Using the simple 5 Ws and H provides guidelines. Who will be members of the group? What is the group's main purpose? What is our topic for discussion? When, where, and how often will we meet? Why will we meet? How will the meetings be structured? The questions are endless. If the group does not seem like a good fit for you, to another group or create your own.

Members of a mastermind group learn quickly that they must leave their ego at the door. Those who are unwilling to relinquish power won't last long. Problems can occur when some members have unrealistic expectations of the group or they don't grasp the concept of collective thinking. Some members may expect the group to solve all of their business or personal problems, or they may want to use the group as a therapy session. Groups who have self-centered, dominant members may self-destruct if the group allows that behavior to continue. Individual members like this can undermine the true purpose of the group's formation. An individual member who tries to overpower the group will either be warned, or will eventually be voted out of the group, because that person throws off the balance of the group.

Trust and harmony form the foundation. The success of a mastermind group is built on the foundation of trust and harmony. It comes from sharing information and ideas, and learning to accept opinions openly and willingly. If only safe, polite comments are shared, nothing is gained, nor is the feedback valuable. Members don't benefit from a group of yes people. They want diversity of opinions and backgrounds from members who will offer constructive criticism and valuable opinions that encourage others to look at an issue with fresh eyes.

Confidentiality must be adhered and one of the most important part of mastermind group. To the outside world you want yourself, family or business to look its best, but in a mastermind group, you can admit anything without being penalized because everything discussed stays in the group. We see ourselves through rose colored glasses; our mastermind alliance is our reality check. It’s here I caution you’re careful who you invite to be a part of your alliance. It is critical to select the right people. Not just anyone should be allowed to be a part of the alliance. They must be invited to become part of the group Not that you can’t, but I might avoid co-workers, friends and family.

Sustainability. Like any meaningful relationship, you will go through the “Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing stages so time must be spent on building that trust and harmony. Seeking feedback from group members keeps the group productive. It’s a good idea regularly end a  meeting (perhaps every 3 or 4) by asking each person to reflect on what working and what’s not, and how the group can improve. It keeps the group focused and on track.

Determine how often the group meets. If located in the same city you might meet monthly. If farther apart but in the same state or area, you may opt for bi-monthly or quarterly meetings. Members of national mastermind groups opt for meeting about twice a year or by phone on a more regularly basis via a conference call. The duration of meetings depends on the group, but most meet for two to four hours; others who meet less frequently may opt to meet for a half or full-day. The group decides. If a mastermind group has achieved the goals it set in the beginning, it may disband.

Closing tips

--Establish your Rules of Engagement (ROE) before the group is formed.

--Take charge and be choosy about who you select as members in the starting group. It's better to start off small, and build the group than to go for volume without substance.

--Know how to fire a group member if things aren't working out. Decide how you will eliminate group members before you form the group. If you wait until the group is up and running, and a problem exists, it will be too late to backtrack.

--Don't fool yourself. If you are not making a difference to other group members, or they are not making a difference to you, it might be time to find another group that is better suited to your needs.

SAMPLE AGENDA

Agenda

LDI Mastermind Group

18 Jan 2012, 6:30 AM – 8:30 PM

Facilitator – Anthony Tormey(Jan-Mar)

Time Keeper – Dale Carnegie (Apr-Jun)

Recorder – Napoleon Hill (Jul-Sep)

Members who have RSVP’d – Timings can be adjusted based on # of attende

  I. Individual good news to share                                                2 Minutes each

 II. Introductions – As required                                                     0 Minute

III. Individual time – participants should forward a short description of the challenge they need help with so others can come prepared to share resources and input. Times can be negotiated and shared. If you don’t need  your time, offering it to others is encouraged. If you need more time, request it.                            

 Anthony                                                                 10 Minutes

 Naoleon                                                                 10 Minutes

 Dale                                                                       10 Minutes 

 Henry                                                                     10 Minutes

 Eli                                                                          10 Minutes

 Albert                                                                    10 Minutes

 Total                                                                     60 Minutes

V. Request for others to join DOI Mastermind – Open discussion     10 Minutes

VI. Tip or resource to share 3 Minutes each                                       15 Minutes

VII. Wrap-up and schedule next meeting. Come prepared with your availability and desires.  Consider 30 days from this meeting date plus or minus 3-5 days      10 Minutes

  

Supporting Information for Individual Time

• Anthony – I am seriously thinking about starting a not for profit to help veterans reintegrate and succeed after returning from combat or leaving the military. I would like to get feedback from the group on the idea of offering free success workshops to veterans.  I am looking specifically for ideas on how to make this work and things I should be cautious about.  Your help is greatly appreciated.
• Napoleon – I’ve got this idea to study how the rich get rich and putting it in a book to share with others. I’m wondering if there would be any interest in doing something like this
• Henry – I’ve been stuck with the color black for the Model T and considering other colors. I’d like the groups opinion on white and grey.
• Albert – I’ve been struggling with this trying to figure out what E equals. The letters M and C keep popping up in my head but I want it run it by the group for a reality check                                                

 All of LDI's Rules for Success can be found at www.LdiWorld.com or click here.