Never Stop Learning

Today’s post, "Never Stop Learning", is written by my Executive Assistant, Cindy Lee.  Cindy has been with me for a almost 4 years.  She brought over 20 years of experience to LDI when she joined the team. She has also brought a “thirst” to know more and a desire to be a successful assistant to me.

Cindy also has her own passion, a passion for writing.  She has a gift for words, both written and spoken.  To that end, when she suggested writing some Rules for Success that she has used to guide her path to success, I said “Go for it”.

As always, your feedback and comments are appreciated. Tell me how something you learned has impacted your success.  E-mail me at solutions@LdiWorld.com or click here for an online comment form.

You’re awesome!  Be extraordinary!

Anthony Tormey

Founder & CEO

Leader Development Institute

www.LdiWorld.com

NEVER STOP LEARNING

As the fall of each year arrives, the new school year brings about much hub-bub.  School shopping, last minute vacations, children getting back into the habit of going to bed early, parents rejoicing over children going to bed early, college students in transition and teachers making classrooms ready,  are all part of the final frenzy before that first day.  Do you remember those days?  You may not have the “back to school” syndrome, but you should never stop learning.   

Success is something that is ever changing.  What you know now to be successful, will not necessarily be what you need to know to stay successful.  Unless that is, you plan to stay in the position you‘re currently in for the rest of your life.  Even in that case, you will most likely be required to learn something new just to maintain the status quo.  

Over my many (and I won’t say how many) years of employment I have learned all sorts of things.  From how to properly scoop ice cream, to reading “specs” enabling me set up drill presses, to weighing garbage trucks, to operating a computer and its’ many programs, to being an executive assistant.  Most recently, I have learned how to design & build websites.  In each position, I have striven to be the best; the only way to do that was to keep learning.

In some instances, only professional training will do.  In many instances, informal learning is just as beneficial.  To learn Microsoft applications, I took formal classes.  To learn about web site design, I sat in the comfort of my own home and viewed webinars.  To be an executive assistant at LDI, I pulled from everything I already knew and learned as much as I could about LDI.  I am still learning!

Learning is not something you can always attribute to any one particular class or experience.  Some of it comes from the necessity of everyday life.  Ever been to a strange place and need to find your way around?  In the 21^st century, some folks use GPS(Global Positioning System).  Before you could use it, you had to learn how to operate it.  Before GPS, we used maps.  Somewhere you had to learn how to read and use one.  Every time you upgrade a cell phone, a computer, a car…you have to learn to use it.

Sometimes, it is a matter of re-learning.  The way you used to do something may not be the best way to do it.  So, you re-learn the better way.  This is especially true as your success grows.  As you come into contact with new people, new ideas, new situations, and new responsibilities – you need to learn to deal with each of these with an “I want to know more.” attitude. 

Train your mind to learn from everything around you.  Ask questions.  (See rule #23)  Whether it is in a classroom, a seminar, an on-line course or just observing people and things around you, you should never stop learning!

Learn something new today. Be Extraordinary!

Cindy Lee

Executive Assistant

Leader Development Institute

CindyLee@LdiWorld.com

SUCCESS RULE # 53 – Show Favoritism

This success rule is one that will make you scratch your head at the thought of it.  But, that's OK...these rules are designed to make you think.  To access all of the Rules for Your Success and sign up for the FREE newsletter, click here.

Success Rule # 53 – Show Favoritism

Let’s face it you probably already do.  Research has shown it is human nature for us to do so.  Mothers favor an oldest son, fathers their youngest daughter, in the workplace we tend to show favor toward people we like and/or who are like us.  In the bible, Proverbs 14:35 Kings favor those who are competent and discipline those who fail them.  Heck, when I applied for a GSA government contract I was asked who my most favored clients were and that I must give the same pricing to the government.  Yet favoritism is a topic that isn't formally discussed except perhaps around the water cooler, and when it is, the information out there tends to suggest it’s a bad thing.  To be clear, it can be.  It’s a fine line.  When we recognize others at the office, some will call it favoritism.  Some will consider favoritism discrimination.  Is there a difference?  Absolutely!

So how do I define favoritism?  First we must understand that we already don’t treat everyone the same, nor should we.  You see, I’m not a supporter of communism.  High performers should be recognized.  Behavioral or performance issues must be addressed.  And a single leadership style doesn't work for everyone.  If there is a critical project that requires a lot of cooperation and coordination, and cannot afford to fail, who would you assign it to?  Someone you feel confident will succeed?  Or the individual who is obnoxious and seemingly alienates co-workers and customers alike?  Do you award a cash bonus to the employee whose productivity is below the standard?  I say favor your top performers.  Favor your go getters.  Favor those who have the mission and entire team in their best interest.  Be for warned, there are going to be those who don’t understand the rules and will complain.  That’s good, it simply suggests they want to be a part of the inner circle and are letting you know.  However…whatever you do, don’t “take care” of them.  Be careful not to just give them what they want because they complained.  In other words don’t placate them.  Instead “care about” them.  Care enough to let them know what it takes to achieve favored status; trust, integrity, reliability, be proactive, practice excellence in all they do and exercise service to the mission and the team.  Coach them.  Encourage them.  Publicly recognize their successes.

Research has shown favoritism, as I've defined it here, has been successful when relationships are reciprocal and cooperative, performance is high and interest is in the team and the mission.  As a result there is less turnover, reviews are more positive, high promotion rates, greater organizational commitment, more desired work assignments and overall – better attitudes.  Your goal then should be to strive to bring everyone into your inner circle. 

Here are some tips on how to do it successfully.

1.   Be outcome focused versus playing to your emotions.  Keep it professional, not personal.

2.   Ensure assignments, promotions, recognition, perks and pay are based strictly upon objective performance measures.

3.   Show equal opportunity for favoritism.  Treat everyone fairly, if not necessarily the same.  Articulate clearly what it takes.

4.   Be mindful of what you are doing–think back to before you were a supervisor, or in a leadership position, and evaluate whether you might feel a particular action based on your decision

5.   When showing favoritism, don’t flaunt it.

6.   Create an environment where any employee feels comfortable discussing a perceived injustice

7.   Be transparent—it contributes to a culture of trust, which can sooth ruffled feathers before hurt feelings can fester and turn a situation far more sour

8.   Manage negative preferential perceptions proactively—it’s much easier to nip the mis-perception in the bud up front, than it is to “put out the fire” once it’s raging

9.   If at all possible, avoid family relationships within the workplace.  If this isn't possible, apply the highest performance standard possible.  Remember that why you are showing favoritism in the first place.

In closing I must point out what favoritism, again as I define it, is NOT.  It is not based on your emotions or feelings (who you like, or don’t like).  It is not the, ‘”Good ‘ol boy network”.  Favoritism is not about race, color, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.  It is not about who your buddy, pal, girl friend or BFF is.  It is not about the neighborhood you grew up in, or the school you went to.  And it is definitely not nepotism.  Now – it doesn't mean these individuals can’t be favored, just be sure you are following the rules for success.  As far as the kids - love ‘em all the same.

Do you have an experience with the perception of favoritism that adds to the discussion? Post a comment on our Facebook page so we can all benefit from the lessons learned.

Be Extraordinary!  You’re my favorite!

Anthony Tormey
Founder & CEO
Leader Development Institute
www.LdiWorld.com

Year End Bonus – Tips to Endure

Once again a year is coming to its’ close.  The harried hustle seems to be contagious and can be overwhelming.  Retailers are gearing up for the end of year sales push, businesses are pulling together the end of year numbers, people are trying to fit one more thing into their already crowded calendars and school children are counting down the days until winter break.  For those of us living in the northern regions, we are pulling on our winter coats and trying to remember where we put that other glove.  Every year this happens and every year we make it through.

This month, instead of a “Success Rule”, I thought I’d pass along some tips to get you through with your sanity intact.  If you have been a “Success Rule” reader, some of these might look familiar.  But it is nice to have them all in one place to remind you of their need, especially at this time of year.

1.     Laugh! – Watch a favorite comedy show, go to a card store and read the cards in the “Humorous” section, spend time with people who make you laugh, watch crazy cat/dog/people videos on YouTube, play dress up with a 5-year old, there are so many ways to tickle your funny bone and now is the time!

2.     Cry! – The holiday season is often a hard time of year as we remember years gone by and the people who are no longer with us.  Trying to be cheery and bright can be a tall order.  Let yourself cry.  It’s alright to allow those tears to well up and fall from time to time.  Even sob if you must, it is cleansing.  Then pick yourself up, wipe your nose and refer to tip number one.  Of course, if you are truly depressed, seek help.  Talk to your doctor or a trusted friend.  There is no shame in admitting that you just aren’t coping too well with life right now.

3.     Sing! – Who cares if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket, sing anyway!  Everywhere you go at this time of year, Christmas music is playing.  If you don’t know the words, hum!  Need some cheer right now, how about “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”or “I Want A HippopotamusFor Christmas”

4.     Say No! – It seems that there are invitations to parties, family get-togethers, stores with that “Sale of the Year” that you can’t afford to miss, church events, cards to send, appointments to make, buying food, cooking food and, my favorite, eating food.   Nowhere is it written, or at least not that I could find, that you have to say yes to everything.   Do what you want to do and let the rest go.  Make a mental list, if not a physical one, of what is on your plate so to speak.  Prioritize the things that are most important to you.  If you run into a situation where you feel pushed to say yes, but would rather say no, be honest and say no.  A simple response I use is “I am sorry, but I can’t fit one more thing onto my plate right now.”  If someone is asking to spend time with you over the holiday season, and you would like to do that, suggest you get together in the New Year. 

5.     Give yourself a day off! -   Go to your calendar, date book, phone app or whatever right now, pick a day and mark it “My day off”.  Then stick to it! (See number 4 above)  That means, if someone asks you to do something that day, you say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I am already booked that day for something else.”  Of course, if it’s something you really and truly want to do, then do it as a treat to yourself.  Use that day to treat yourself to down time, do something you like, a hobby perhaps.  If you have a spouse and/or children, let them know it is your day off and they are on their own.  If you need to, go somewhere away from the stress. 

6.     Don’t Worry, Be Happy! – If doing numbers four and five seem out of your comfort zone, don’t worry, people will get over it.  If they don’t, they don’t.  In either case, do not allow others to steal your joy.  We are as happy as we make up our minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln

7.     Enjoy the sunshine! – Although the days are shorter, there is still some sunshine.  Perhaps not every day, but at some point, the sun does shine.  Get out in it whenever you can.  Too cold?  Open your blinds and just enjoy the view.  Remember, December 22 is the winter solstice.  After that, the days will start getting longer.

There are only a few weeks left in 2013, you may be surprised at how much better they can be if you follow these tips to endure and persevere.

Have a Great Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!  See you in 2014!

Executive Assistant

Leader Development Institute

www.LDiWorld.com

SUCCESS RULE #46 - Practice Reciprocity

The late Zig Ziglar, a well-known author, sales trainer and motivational speaker, is credited with saying, “You can get anything in this world you want – as long as you are willing to help others get what they want”. Too often however our focus is either on what we want, or what we think others want from us. Furthermore, many of us attempt to keep score with a mentality akin to, “If you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Successful people don’t keep score, they simply develop the habit of serving others - unconditionally. They support their employees, they help the boss, they do for their spouse and children, and they give their neighbors a hand when they can. They understand when you act to please others; you’ll find others will be pleased to act.

I see this principle play out each time I use a training exercise where I put individuals into a scenario with opposing needs – to persuade the person standing across from them to come onto their side of a line. I tell them they can say or do whatever they wish to get the other person to cross the line. From the onset people typically argue their agenda and enter into negotiations to get what they want. On some occasions they even resort to physical force and pull the other person to their side of the line. The result is both parties resist, physically and emotionally. However, given time, or a little bit of facilitating, someone will usually figure out the principle of reciprocity and simply cross the line and join their partner on the other side. Once on the other side of the line they simply ask the other person, “Would you help me and go to the other side of the line?” Without hesitation, the majority, having just been given a gift – they had their goal satisfied before being asked for anything – are happy to comply with the request and cross to the other side of the line.

Teamwork, and your subsequent success, can be so much more effective when you consider the principle of reciprocity. Start by lending a helping hand. Is there a coworker having a difficult time with a task or project? Share your knowledge or ideas. Reach out to others voluntarily. 

Here’s an idea, keep a stash of giveaway items from the dollar store in your desk draw. In a previous job I gave a plastic Fire Chief Helmet to a coworker because they helped me put out some fires. From that point forward the other person was always ready and willing to help when I needed him. The helmet cost? Just ninety-nine cents!

This doesn’t just apply to work success. At home give time to your spouse, your children and other family members. Pay attention, listen, throw in a little eye contact for good measure, and look for the reciprocity to roll in.

Be Extraordinary! When you’re not being extraordinary, be awesome instead.

Click below to see reciprocity explained by Sheldon in a short clip from the television sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. 

Credit goes to CBS for this clip.

SUCCESS RULE #45 - Negotiate

Many see negotiating as uncomfortable at best, something to be disdained at worst. We typically associate negotiating with sales involving big ticket items like homes and cars. The truth is you probably already negotiate with your boss and/or coworkers for time off, your professor/teacher for a better grade, your children to do their chores, with your spouse as to how you’re going to spend that refund check, or perhaps with that nice police officer who just stopped you for speeding. The bottom line is, there will come a time when you are going to need to negotiate for a car, a house, a new job offer, assignment, promotion, or pay raise. You don’t want to be nervous, unsure of yourself, or learning the ropes on a $30,000 car, six figure income, or an even more costly home. Practice instead on the small items. Start easy and go to a yard sale – or have your own.

When I travel I always negotiate for a free upgrade, additional services, or to have a fee waived, maybe even a free bottle of wine/meal, satellite radio or a tank of gas. Sometimes I don’t get it, many times I do. When your phone, cable or internet contract comes due, negotiate for a better rate (hint: if the first person you speak to can’t/won’t help, ask to speak with someone from the cancellation/retention department). Every year or two, I negotiate my banking and credit card fees. Buying new furniture, mattress, etc.? Ask for a free set of sheets, or free delivery.

With this said, this rule is about negotiating, not about how cheap you can be. It’s not about saving a few dollars; it’s the ability to influence others ethically to get what you want. It’s not about manipulation, which would lack character. It’s about influence – with character.

I bet you didn't realize there are scientifically proven ways to be persuasive. That's right, there's a science to it and the good news is it's easy to learn. Stick with me over the next several newsletters because you'll learn a little of the science and as a result - have greater success for it.

Be Extraordinary! When you’re not being extraordinary, be awesome instead.

Photo © Bellemedia | <a href="http://www.dreamstime.com/">Dreamstime Stock Photos</a>&<a>href="http://www.stockfreeimages.com/">Stock Free Images</a>

SUCCESS RULE # 44 - Be Tenacious!

Hello Success Rule Follower,

Once again my assistant, Cindy Lee, has written a very timely rule by pulling from her own background and success in life.  In this Success Rule, you can see how the definition of success is as individual as each of us.  Enjoy this glimpse into how tenacity can propel you toward success.

Anthony Tormey
Founder & CEO
Leader Development Institute

BE TENACIOUS!

Our last Success Rule, Don’t Let The Insecurities Of Others Affect Your Dreams, talked about how other people can affect your success.  What about how life affects your success?

In the mid 1980’s success was something I never thought I’d see.  At that particular point in my life, I was struggling with many things on many levels.  In an effort to regain some sanity in my life, I began seeing a counselor.  One of the roles of a counselor is to identify ones strengths and build on them. One assignment was for me to make a list of what I thought my strengths were.  My list was rather short.  The counselor, having known me for some time, started adding things to the list I had created.  One of those things was tenacity.  

Tenacity?  I wasn’t even sure what that was.  She explained that it’s like being an old bulldog with a bone.  No matter how hard you try to get it away from him that old dog isn’t giving up that bone.  She was right.  

Unable to work, I was recovering from major surgery, struggling with a divorce and custody hearings, financial issues, extended family problems, depression and the taking-one-step-forward-three-steps-back syndrome.  But, as the counselor pointed out, I was still taking that one step forward.

It was during that time period that I signed up for clerical classes and learned about the new technology of the word processor.  I brushed up on typing, filing, business math and whatever else would be useful in an office environment.  The one-step forward became two as I re-entered the work force.  I hung onto that bone and one by one, I overcame each of the obstacles that once seemed insurmountable.  

Learning as much as I could in each position I held, I moved up through different places of employment into various levels of management.  When technology advanced, I took night classes and continued to advance as well.  Feeling stagnant after eight years with one company, I picked up and moved across the state into to an entirely new field, never letting go of the idea that employment was a means to an end.  For me that meant someday not having to get up and go to work.

Today, I have a great husband, three grown children who have given me eight grandchildren; I work from home doing what I love and I choose not to let family opinion dictate my feelings. The ratio of steps has changed to many-steps-forward with the occasional one-step-back.  And, I continue to hang onto that bone!  Now my bone includes not giving up on the people I love.

When you feel like you are stuck in the three-steps-back mode, remember that you are still taking that all important one-step-forward.  Be that bulldog…and hang on to that bone! 

           

Cindy Lee

Executive Assistant Leader Development Institute

SUCCESS RULE # 43 - Don’t Let The Insecurities Of Others Affect Your Dreams

You are going to be surrounded by others who aren't familiar with the rules and tools for success. They are not going to know what you know. They are not going to be Success Rule Followers. Their level of success will be measured in terms of mediocrity. They will be quick to blame others and/or circumstances for their lack of success. "The economy really hasn't been good.". "The boss has their favorites and I'm not one of them." Here is my favorite, "I've been here 15 years and they still haven't promoted me.".  They will whine and complain, and they will want company. Don't drink from the poison well. Be careful, these dream busters come in all kinds of disguises, from the easily identifiable, obnoxious, miserable, grouchy S.O.B who takes pleasure in bringing you down, to the humble, "you didn't ask, but I'm going to give you my advice anyway", coworker, spouse, parent, sibling or BFF who just has your, "best interest at heart". I experienced it. Once I told co-workers I was going to join an elite organization in the US Air Force called Pararescue. What I heard was, "You know, you'll never make it". The said, "I hear the physical requirements are out of this world.". What they were really saying was, "Hey, stay with me in this lame job so we can continue to hang out (party, drink, play pool... )", or that they were too lazy to put in the time and effort it would take to be part of something extraordinary themselves. Today I'm proud to be a part of a brotherhood that continues to accept only those who know the rules for success, and want to be extraordinary - The US Air Force Pararescueman and Combat Rescue Officer.

The bottom line is these negative people will try and leave you with feelings of doubt, pangs of guilt, or take away from you your self-worth. Here are some tips to follow to avoid such kinds of people. The first and most obvious step is to separate yourself from them, kick them off the porch, dump 'em. In many situations it really is a lot easier than you think. Real friends don't put you down or hold you back. In fact, you will find your true best friend is the one that is growing and pursuing their own success right alongside you. They are as excited for you, as you are for them. If you instead find your friends, "encouraging" you to take the easy route, or they make you feel guilty for, "forgetting where you came from", maybe it is time you remember where you're going and forget about them. 

On the other hand there are those in your life that are not so easy to get rid of, such as family, and in many cases co-workers. They'll try to make you feel bad by telling you that all you care about is money and material things. At work they'll say, "There you go again, sucking up to the boss". Let me be clear. NO ONE will care more about your success than you do. Don't let someone else dictate your success. If it is someone you can't separate yourself from all together, then minimize your time with them. "But it's my mother", someone once said. OK. Thanksgiving or Christmas. Pick one. Alright, maybe that is not realistic, but I would still avoid interaction when I could. When it can't be avoided and you find yourself the subject of their teardown, be direct, firm and always polite/professional. Commit yourself to not sharing your plans with them. Change the topic and refuse to engage on the issue. Smile and excuse yourself from the conversation.

My final thought on this is to continue to nurture the seeds of thought that are planted in the garden of your mind by yourself and others. Remember to weed out the bad seeds, the negativity, the ones that steal away the food, water and nutrients of the dreams you planted.  

Be Extraordinary! When you’re not being extraordinary, be awesome instead.

SUCCESS RULE # 42 - Be Financially Fit

Pretty simple rule, yet one that is often ignored or at a minimum, not really understood. We grow up not really being taught how to manage our finances and so we go to college, or perhaps get a job. We then get a checking account, a credit card…or two, or three, start spending, accumulating debt, and before you know it many folks are living paycheck to paycheck, or as we've seen over the past few years, find themselves in financial crisis. Bottom line, no matter how much money you earn, spend less (Watch a short video here.  The producer of this video holds all copyrights. Leader Development Institute has no connection to, nor endorses said company. Video is for illustrative purposes only). I know, you’re thinking a good lesson for our government to learn. Well perhaps, and someday, if I’m elected POTUS I’ll work on that. In the meantime let’s focus on your success.

It’s easy to be influenced by the media, marketing and peer pressure. We’re made to feel we can’t do without something, or pressured to, “Keep up with the proverbial Jones’s’”. But not you, you follow Rules and Tools for Success, you’re proactive and practice self-discipline, eventually you will be the “Jones’”. Don’t misunderstand, credit can be a powerful tool if you understand it and use it wisely. For example, I use a credit card for just about every purchase I make, from candy bars to cars, thousands of dollars a month. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, at the end of the month, when the statement shows up in the mail, I pay it in full. For me, that’s hundreds of thousands of airline miles and free tickets. For others it’s cash back, or a down payment on a car. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, if you do this, you MUST have the self-discipline to NOT overspend, and pay it in full every month.

Many years ago, after buying a car on credit, and paying it off, I continued to, “make the payment” to myself for several more years. During that time I worked to pay off my credit card debt, created an immediate emergency fund, started a long-term emergency fund, and saved to purchase my next vehicle for cash.  I continued to practice financial fitness and started investing in mutual funds and started an IRA. When I got a pay raise, I immediately put 20% of the raise into my IRA and another 20% into savings and/or my mutual funds. At the time, if I wanted a big ticket item, like new furniture or a big boy’s toy, I would either save until I had enough to make the purchase or, if I wanted to take advantage of a deal, I could “borrow” from my savings and pay myself back just as if I had to take out a loan, only difference was it was my money and no interest.

It’s approaching the holidays, shop wisely and exercise financial fitness. No matter where you are in your life, plan ahead (savings, emergencies, retirement, etc), prepare (savings, emergencies, retirement, etc), prevent (don’t over spend, pay bills, no consumer debt). Seek to avoid immediate gratification and instead practice self-discipline. If you are a supervisor, mentor your young employees. If you are a parent teach your children financial fitness early, if they are in high school or college, pass this rule on to them in full. If you are a young adult, START NOW!

Tips for Financial Fitness

·       Establish an immediate emergency fund. About $2,000.00 (Emergency house or car repair. Travel to

      ailing family member, etc)
·       Long-term emergency fund 6 months’ salary
·       Borrow from yourself
·       Use credit cards that offer cash return, or other benefit – use them for everything - then pay them off

      monthly.
·       Know you budget – and stick to it
·       Make the most of your retirement investment 20%(If you have a 401k with matching contributions, max

     it out, after that, contribute to an IRA)
·       Negotiate for everything (The time to learn is not with your car or your first home)
·      Establish multiple income streams (There are a number of  business opportunities to do this, but perhaps        the quickest and somewhat easiest is to invest)

Be Extraordinary! Be Debt Free!

SUCCESS RULE #40 Seek Congruency (between your conscious thoughts and your sub-conscious mind)

Many of us want success as we define it in our own thoughts, the rockin' body, the fat bank account, the great relationship, peace and harmony in our lives, the perfect career and so on. These are the things we consciously think about or dream of. Unfortunately many have a sub-conscious mind that has been conditioned differently during our lifetime and are incongruent with our conscious desires - or thoughts. To understand why this is so, think about the subconscious as your baggage. We all have baggage, I've got nearly 52 years of baggage, and it's where we store our life's experiences and form our beliefs. The reason your subconscious overrides your conscious desires when they are incongruent is due to your beliefs. Because they are your beliefs they must be true, otherwise, well, they wouldn't be your beliefs.

Empowering or disempowering, it doesn't matter, our subconscious mind will often overrule the conscious thought in order to protect our body and spirit (our feelings).

I often think about the pervasive rift between the ranks of the military and the baggage many young enlisted have about senior NCOs and officers, and vise-versa, and yes, how their potential success is hindered by the belief system (baggage/subconscious). The same holds true in the government and civilian work sectors. In order to advance, get promoted or move into management our belief system says those who are there, were suck ups or stepped on others in order to get there. As a result the "language of the mind" (Rule #39) is repeated, reinforced by ourselves and others, and soon stored in our subconscious mind as baggage. So that we don't feel like traitors to our peers, or that others will view us negatively as brown-nosers, our incongruent subconscious (beliefs) sabotage our conscious desires of cooperation, project success, and/or potential advancement.  

What baggage are you still carrying around with you that is incongruent with your desires? Pretty girls are snobs, well dressed individuals are vain, jocks are dumb, smart students are geeks, wealth equals greed. Your subconscious sabotages your plans to go to the gym, lose weight, dress for success, study and/or prepare for the interview, promotion or exam. As a result they take precedence, and when you try to do something not aligned with your beliefs your mind says, “Whoa, hold on there cowboy”, and generates feelings and emotions that drive your behavior and align them with your core beliefs. (No need to go the extra mile on this project, don’t want to appear to be sucking up to the boss) (Andrew is always put together but he’s so arrogant, I don’t need an ironed shirt and shined shoes to do my job.)

 There are a number of tools and techniques you can use to establish congruency AND become fluent in the language of the mind, many of them are part of the “Rules For Success. Others include; Practicing metacognition, being self-aware, think about what it is you think about. Rephrase the questions you ask yourself to reflect success versus defeat. When faced with adversity ask “How can I?” instead of “Why me?”.  Continue to learn new things. Take risks. Keep nearby a constant reminder of the belief system you wish to embrace, posters, pictures, a dream board (Rule #28).  Read Rules For Success. Share them with others. Listen to music that is uplifting and has lyrics that inspire (It's My Life - Bon Jovi - This is one of my favorite motivational songs but watch the volume if you click on the link). Watch YouTube videos like TED (Everyday Leadership) or other inspirational stories.  Do you have a favorite? Send me an email and share how or why it inspires your belief system, and I will post them on www.LDiworld.com and the LDI Facebook page. Associate with others who are experiencing success. Model the behavior you wish to exhibit. Avoid those who are sour and miserable. Seek out and get involved with a successful network marketing company, they are a consistent source of success minded individuals to fellowship with. Same with any group that is focused and void of internal politics; house of worship, club, civic organization or mastermind alliance (Rule #29).Talk regularly and openly with anyone who will listen about your success and goals. “Fake it until you make it.”

Learn the language of the mind and seek congruency with your subconscious and success, no matter how you define it, can be yours.

Be extraordinary!

When you're not being extraordinary, be awesome instead.

SUCCESS RULE #38 Never Stop Learning

As the fall of each year arrives, the new school year brings about much hub-bub.  School shopping, last minute vacations, children getting back into the habit of going to bed early, parents rejoicing over children going to bed early, college students in transition and teachers making classrooms ready,  are all part of the final frenzy before that first day.  Do you remember those days?  You may not have the “back to school” syndrome, but you should never stop learning.   

Success is something that is ever changing.  What you know now to be successful, will not necessarily be what you need to know to stay successful.  Unless that is, you plan to stay in the position you‘re currently in for the rest of your life.  Even in that case, you will most likely be required to learn something new just to maintain the status quo.  

Over my many (and I won’t say how many) years of employment I have learned all sorts of things.  From how to properly scoop ice cream, to reading “specs” enabling me set up drill presses, to weighing garbage trucks, to operating a computer and its’ many programs, to being an executive assistant.  Most recently, I have learned how to design & build websites.  In each position, I have strived to be the best; the only way to do that was to keep learning.

In some instances, only professional training will do.  In many instances, informal learning is just as beneficial.  To learn Microsoft applications, I took formal classes.  To learn about web site design, I sat in the comfort of my own home and viewed webinars.  To be an executive assistant at LDI, I pulled from everything I already knew and learned as much as I could about LDI.  I am still learning!

Learning is not something you can always attribute to any one particular class or experience.  Some of it comes from the necessity of everyday life.  Ever been to a strange place and need to find your way around?  In the 21^st century, some folks use GPS(Global Positioning System).  Before you could use it, you had to learn how to operate it.  Before GPS, we used maps.  Somewhere you had to learn how to read and use one.  Every time you upgrade a cell phone, a computer, a car…you have to learn to use it.

Sometimes, it is a matter of re-learning.  The way you used to do something may not be the best way to do it.  So, you re-learn the better way.  This is especially true as your success grows.  As you come into contact with new people, new ideas, new situations, and new responsibilities – you need to learn to deal with each of these with an “I want to know more.” attitude. 

Train your mind to learn from everything around you.  Ask questions.  (See rule #23)  Whether it is in a classroom, a seminar, an on-line course or just observing people and things around you, you should never stop learning!

Learn something new today. Be Extraordinary!

Cindy Lee

Executive Assistant

Leader Development Institute