SUCCESS RULE # 43 - Don’t Let The Insecurities Of Others Affect Your Dreams

You are going to be surrounded by others who aren't familiar with the rules and tools for success. They are not going to know what you know. They are not going to be Success Rule Followers. Their level of success will be measured in terms of mediocrity. They will be quick to blame others and/or circumstances for their lack of success. "The economy really hasn't been good.". "The boss has their favorites and I'm not one of them." Here is my favorite, "I've been here 15 years and they still haven't promoted me.".  They will whine and complain, and they will want company. Don't drink from the poison well. Be careful, these dream busters come in all kinds of disguises, from the easily identifiable, obnoxious, miserable, grouchy S.O.B who takes pleasure in bringing you down, to the humble, "you didn't ask, but I'm going to give you my advice anyway", coworker, spouse, parent, sibling or BFF who just has your, "best interest at heart". I experienced it. Once I told co-workers I was going to join an elite organization in the US Air Force called Pararescue. What I heard was, "You know, you'll never make it". The said, "I hear the physical requirements are out of this world.". What they were really saying was, "Hey, stay with me in this lame job so we can continue to hang out (party, drink, play pool... )", or that they were too lazy to put in the time and effort it would take to be part of something extraordinary themselves. Today I'm proud to be a part of a brotherhood that continues to accept only those who know the rules for success, and want to be extraordinary - The US Air Force Pararescueman and Combat Rescue Officer.

The bottom line is these negative people will try and leave you with feelings of doubt, pangs of guilt, or take away from you your self-worth. Here are some tips to follow to avoid such kinds of people. The first and most obvious step is to separate yourself from them, kick them off the porch, dump 'em. In many situations it really is a lot easier than you think. Real friends don't put you down or hold you back. In fact, you will find your true best friend is the one that is growing and pursuing their own success right alongside you. They are as excited for you, as you are for them. If you instead find your friends, "encouraging" you to take the easy route, or they make you feel guilty for, "forgetting where you came from", maybe it is time you remember where you're going and forget about them. 

On the other hand there are those in your life that are not so easy to get rid of, such as family, and in many cases co-workers. They'll try to make you feel bad by telling you that all you care about is money and material things. At work they'll say, "There you go again, sucking up to the boss". Let me be clear. NO ONE will care more about your success than you do. Don't let someone else dictate your success. If it is someone you can't separate yourself from all together, then minimize your time with them. "But it's my mother", someone once said. OK. Thanksgiving or Christmas. Pick one. Alright, maybe that is not realistic, but I would still avoid interaction when I could. When it can't be avoided and you find yourself the subject of their teardown, be direct, firm and always polite/professional. Commit yourself to not sharing your plans with them. Change the topic and refuse to engage on the issue. Smile and excuse yourself from the conversation.

My final thought on this is to continue to nurture the seeds of thought that are planted in the garden of your mind by yourself and others. Remember to weed out the bad seeds, the negativity, the ones that steal away the food, water and nutrients of the dreams you planted.  

Be Extraordinary! When you’re not being extraordinary, be awesome instead.

SUCCESS RULE # 42 - Be Financially Fit

Pretty simple rule, yet one that is often ignored or at a minimum, not really understood. We grow up not really being taught how to manage our finances and so we go to college, or perhaps get a job. We then get a checking account, a credit card…or two, or three, start spending, accumulating debt, and before you know it many folks are living paycheck to paycheck, or as we've seen over the past few years, find themselves in financial crisis. Bottom line, no matter how much money you earn, spend less (Watch a short video here.  The producer of this video holds all copyrights. Leader Development Institute has no connection to, nor endorses said company. Video is for illustrative purposes only). I know, you’re thinking a good lesson for our government to learn. Well perhaps, and someday, if I’m elected POTUS I’ll work on that. In the meantime let’s focus on your success.

It’s easy to be influenced by the media, marketing and peer pressure. We’re made to feel we can’t do without something, or pressured to, “Keep up with the proverbial Jones’s’”. But not you, you follow Rules and Tools for Success, you’re proactive and practice self-discipline, eventually you will be the “Jones’”. Don’t misunderstand, credit can be a powerful tool if you understand it and use it wisely. For example, I use a credit card for just about every purchase I make, from candy bars to cars, thousands of dollars a month. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, at the end of the month, when the statement shows up in the mail, I pay it in full. For me, that’s hundreds of thousands of airline miles and free tickets. For others it’s cash back, or a down payment on a car. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, if you do this, you MUST have the self-discipline to NOT overspend, and pay it in full every month.

Many years ago, after buying a car on credit, and paying it off, I continued to, “make the payment” to myself for several more years. During that time I worked to pay off my credit card debt, created an immediate emergency fund, started a long-term emergency fund, and saved to purchase my next vehicle for cash.  I continued to practice financial fitness and started investing in mutual funds and started an IRA. When I got a pay raise, I immediately put 20% of the raise into my IRA and another 20% into savings and/or my mutual funds. At the time, if I wanted a big ticket item, like new furniture or a big boy’s toy, I would either save until I had enough to make the purchase or, if I wanted to take advantage of a deal, I could “borrow” from my savings and pay myself back just as if I had to take out a loan, only difference was it was my money and no interest.

It’s approaching the holidays, shop wisely and exercise financial fitness. No matter where you are in your life, plan ahead (savings, emergencies, retirement, etc), prepare (savings, emergencies, retirement, etc), prevent (don’t over spend, pay bills, no consumer debt). Seek to avoid immediate gratification and instead practice self-discipline. If you are a supervisor, mentor your young employees. If you are a parent teach your children financial fitness early, if they are in high school or college, pass this rule on to them in full. If you are a young adult, START NOW!

Tips for Financial Fitness

·       Establish an immediate emergency fund. About $2,000.00 (Emergency house or car repair. Travel to

      ailing family member, etc)
·       Long-term emergency fund 6 months’ salary
·       Borrow from yourself
·       Use credit cards that offer cash return, or other benefit – use them for everything - then pay them off

      monthly.
·       Know you budget – and stick to it
·       Make the most of your retirement investment 20%(If you have a 401k with matching contributions, max

     it out, after that, contribute to an IRA)
·       Negotiate for everything (The time to learn is not with your car or your first home)
·      Establish multiple income streams (There are a number of  business opportunities to do this, but perhaps        the quickest and somewhat easiest is to invest)

Be Extraordinary! Be Debt Free!