Success Rule # 54
It’s Not About You
That in turn got me to
thinking about how important that perspective is in life and our success. We are not all on the front lines of combat
where life and limb are at risk, but we are all on the front lines of life and
when you want extraordinary success, you will do well to say to yourself, “It’s
not about me”.
For success at home,
think to yourself, “It’s not about me”. Is it really that important that you do all
you do for your child simply because it’s easier or you are in a hurry? Does it become a test of wills, or do you slow
down and let your 6 year old make their own bed? Do you take time and volunteer with your son’s
scout troop? Although Dorothy and I have
no children, we are both very close to our nieces and nephews. This past winter I took a trip to Florida to
spend some time with my family. One day
during the trip, I took my nieces and nephews, along with my brother and his
wife to Universal Studios. The children
were ages 12, 5, 6 and a 1 year old infant. We had a great time, but I have to tell you, I
had to keep reminding myself, “It wasn’t about me” and what I wanted to do, or
more importantly what I wanted them to do. I wanted to hit all the major rides,
and I wanted to take the kids on all the
rollercoasters they were tall enough to go on. The problem was they didn’t. There was a time in my life when it would have
been all about me. I’d be frustrated,
wouldn’t understand, be miserable, and as a result create an environment where
others would be miserable – and there we’d be, spending hundreds of dollars and
having no fun because Uncle Anthony wanted to make it about him. Instead, because there was no long line to
wait on, we rode the tea cup ride several times and had a blast, and I have never
seen kids laugh so hard and have so much fun. My brother, his wife and I went on several
other rides, including Harry Potter and the Hulk, but we did them without the
kids and worked a plan. Yup, the day was an extraordinary success.
The same holds true in
our relationships. Read any
men’s/women’s magazine about reigniting the intimacy in the bedroom, and in
harlequin romance style, with step by step instructions on how to please your
partner, they all make it very clear, “it’s never about you”. Of course relationships are much more than
what goes on between the sheets. Why not consider the same approach in the
dining room over dinner conversation, or in the car the next time you want to
do 80 mph, in the rain, while passing semi’s - and it makes the other just a
little nervous. Is it really that important? As Dr. Phil has made famous with his catch
phrase, “Would your rather be right or would you rather be happy?”.
It’s not any different in the board room or on
the job. The truly extraordinary leaders
of the world know it’s not about them. It’s
either about a.) The mission, b.) The vision, or c.) The people. That’s not to say they aren’t concerned about
getting ahead or being successful. They
aren’t martyrs, and they don’t let people walk all over them. They know their success doesn’t happen in a
vacuum, that others are involved and they don’t need to walk on others to
succeed. Nor do they compromise the
mission of the organization for personal gain. The extraordinary leader recognizes and
appreciates those who have been a part of their success. Their success is often the results of helping
others get what they want; helping others to succeed.
Too often I have seen
people who have been held back by supervisors and leaders who, being selfish
didn’t want to let them go because “they were so valuable to the team”. Bull****, they were selfish, greedy, lazy
individuals, who were more interested in looking good themselves than in helping
someone else succeed or be willing to help others grow.
I had an audience
member share a story with me about a time when he was a frontline supervisor
for a team that was responsible for washing the outside of large air force
aircraft. It was an entry level
position, one where you could get your foot in the door working for the US
government. Trust me; it is a nasty,
dirty, thankless job, worthy of Mike Rowe and TV’s “Dirty Jobs”. This audience member/supervisor made it clear
it wasn’t about him, or what made his life easy. What his job was about was to promote out of
his department, not the stereotypical troublemaker, but his best, hardworking
employees. As a leader he was
extraordinary and continued to advance in his career as well.
If you are looking for extraordinary success in your life, don’t make it about you.
1.) Know
your mission. No matter where you
are in life or the organization, what is it you are responsible for? A partner in a relationship? A parent raising a child? A front line employee, or the CEO of the
organization?
2.) Have
a vision. What is your purpose in
life? How does it align with the vision
of your partner? Your organization?
3.) Know
what’s important to the people who are important to you. Zig Zigler once said, “You can have everything in life you want,
if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”
4.) Clarify
your values. If you neglect to
ensure congruency of your actions with your values, you will find yourself
making shortsighted decisions and choices that will negatively influence your
success.
5.) Avoid
being the smartest person in the room. Success Rule followers know when to speak
up and when to act on their initiatives. Don’t squander your opportunities by showing
off. Let your cool demeanor speak up for
you. Instead
learn to inspire others.
6.) Learn
to delegate. Sure you might be able do it faster, and probably better,
after all, if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself. Well, it’s not about you. Help others to grow,
to learn, to experience success…and failure.
7.) Success
is about relationships. The relationships
with your spouse, you children, your family, your customers, your co-workers,
your boss, your god. Extraordinary
success comes when you realize - it’s not about you. Be extraordinary!
Extraordinary Leaders Have Extraordinary Character,
With Extraordinary Character, They Are Not Afraid.!
Be Extraordinary
President
& CEO
Leader
Development Institute
www.LDiWorld.com
