There are two significant elements to
understanding and applying this Rule for Success. First is to understand how it
can influence your decisions and subsequent actions/reactions, and second, how
you can make a permanent change to your life. If you were to take a moment to
close your eyes and think for a moment about a recent, strong emotional
experience – say the loss of a loved one, how you miss their conversations,
touching them, holding them. Remembering how close you were to them, what they
meant to you. Listened to their voice, felt their touch. Remember the
viewing, memorial or funeral. If you did this, pause for a moment and
acknowledge how you feel…your emotions. Sad, upset, hurt, angry, depressed?
Take another moment and realize how you look, what were your physical
reactions. A frown, a stoic face, a blank stare out into space, perhaps your
eyes teared up, or you even cried.
On the other hand, what if you thought
about it like I do with my father, how he was a great dad, how he loved me,
shaped me to be who I am today. I think about my phone calls to him almost
every day and how they made him smile – that made me happy. As a Christian I
know he is in Heaven and someday I will be with him, my mom and all those I
love. If…if, you changed the way you thought about the loss of your loved one,
and talked to yourself with happy and uplifting language, you would have
noticed a change in your emotions, or feelings, to ones of genuine happiness,
maybe even excitement. These emotions in-turn affected your actions or
behaviors, predominantly facial features that included a smile.
What kind of emotions does, “Ah Crap!
Another management initiative that’s just going to cause me problems.” evoke?
Fear, anger, frustration? What about, “Damn, there’s just no way I’m going to
lose this weight? Be able to handle this project? Failure? Sadness? Anxiety?
What about this language…“Hmm, how can I use this situation to…help someone?
advance my career? make my job easier?”? Empowered? Excited? Anticipation?
If you learn to understand the language
of the mind, how it influences your feelings or emotions, and how those
emotions drive your actions, reactions and behaviors, then you can understand
how changing the conversations you have with yourself will change the way you feel,
and how you feel will change how you respond. Instead of complaining about how
something won’t work, ask yourself how it might. Instead of blaming others for
the adversity in your life, ask how you might respond to it differently.
Instead of worrying about things that haven’t happened, ask yourself, what can
I do to prepare for, or prevent the unforeseen.
Every thought you have is a seed, your
results are the fruit. If you want tulips don’t plant ragweed. Watch for our
next Rule and Tool For Success – Seek Congruency, where I’ll share how you can
become fluent in a language that will drive success. In the meantime…Be
extraordinary! When you can’t be extraordinary, be awesome instead.
