Success Rule # 53 – Show Favoritism
Let’s face it you probably already do. Research has shown it is human nature for us
to do so. Mothers favor an oldest son,
fathers their youngest daughter, in the workplace we tend to show favor toward
people we like and/or who are like us.
In the bible, Proverbs 14:35 Kings favor those who are competent and
discipline those who fail them. Heck,
when I applied for a GSA government contract I was asked who my most favored
clients were and that I must give the same pricing to the government. Yet favoritism is a topic that isn't formally
discussed except perhaps around the water cooler, and when it is, the
information out there tends to suggest it’s a bad thing. To be clear, it can be. It’s a fine line. When we recognize others at the office, some
will call it favoritism. Some will
consider favoritism discrimination. Is
there a difference? Absolutely!
So how do I define favoritism? First we must understand that we already
don’t treat everyone the same, nor should we.
You see, I’m not a supporter of communism. High performers should be recognized. Behavioral or performance issues must be
addressed. And a single leadership style
doesn't work for everyone. If there is a
critical project that requires a lot of cooperation and coordination, and cannot
afford to fail, who would you assign it to?
Someone you feel confident will succeed?
Or the individual who is obnoxious and seemingly alienates co-workers
and customers alike? Do you award a cash
bonus to the employee whose productivity is below the standard? I say favor your top performers. Favor your go getters. Favor those who have the mission and entire
team in their best interest. Be for
warned, there are going to be those who don’t understand the rules and will
complain. That’s good, it simply
suggests they want to be a part of the inner circle and are letting you
know. However…whatever you do, don’t
“take care” of them. Be careful not to
just give them what they want because they complained. In other words don’t placate them. Instead “care about” them. Care enough to let them know what it takes to
achieve favored status; trust, integrity, reliability, be proactive, practice
excellence in all they do and exercise service to the mission and the team. Coach them.
Encourage them. Publicly
recognize their successes.
Research has shown favoritism, as I've defined it here,
has been successful when relationships are reciprocal and cooperative,
performance is high and interest is in the team and the mission. As a result there is less turnover, reviews
are more positive, high promotion rates, greater organizational commitment,
more desired work assignments and overall – better attitudes. Your goal then should be to strive to bring
everyone into your inner circle.
Here are some tips on how to do it successfully.
1. Be outcome
focused versus playing to your emotions. Keep it professional, not personal.
2. Ensure
assignments, promotions, recognition, perks and pay are based strictly upon
objective performance measures.
3. Show equal
opportunity for favoritism. Treat
everyone fairly, if not necessarily the same. Articulate clearly what it takes.
4. Be mindful of
what you are doing–think back to before you were a supervisor, or in a
leadership position, and evaluate whether you might feel a particular action
based on your decision
5. When showing
favoritism, don’t flaunt it.
6. Create an
environment where any employee feels comfortable discussing a perceived
injustice
7. Be
transparent—it contributes to a culture of trust, which can sooth ruffled
feathers before hurt feelings can fester and turn a situation far more sour
8. Manage negative
preferential perceptions proactively—it’s much easier to nip the mis-perception
in the bud up front, than it is to “put out the fire” once it’s raging
9. If at all
possible, avoid family relationships within the workplace. If this isn't possible, apply the highest
performance standard possible. Remember
that why you are showing favoritism in the first place.
In closing I must point out what favoritism, again as I
define it, is NOT. It is not based on
your emotions or feelings (who you like, or don’t like). It is not the, ‘”Good ‘ol boy network”. Favoritism is not about race, color,
nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation. It is not about who your buddy, pal, girl
friend or BFF is. It is not about the
neighborhood you grew up in, or the school you went to. And it is definitely not nepotism. Now – it doesn't mean these individuals can’t
be favored, just be sure you are following the rules for success. As far as the kids - love ‘em all the same.
Do you have an experience with the perception of
favoritism that adds to the discussion? Post a comment on our Facebook page so we can all benefit
from the lessons learned.
Be Extraordinary!
You’re my favorite!
Anthony Tormey
Founder & CEO
Leader Development Institute
www.LdiWorld.com
