SUCCESS RULE # 39 - Learn the Language of the Mind

Do you talk to yourself? Do you answer? I’m sure you do. We all of have conversations with ourselves, these are called thoughts. Perhaps the more serious question is what type of conversations are you having? What is the language of your mind? Have you ever talked yourself into such a frenzy it actually made you nauseous? Ever worry about something to such an extent it made you physically ill? Maybe you talked yourself right out of a smart choice or into a poor decision. Perhaps it’s time to learn about the language you are using in the conversation you are having with yourself and start leading a fuller more successful life.

There are two significant elements to understanding and applying this Rule for Success. First is to understand how it can influence your decisions and subsequent actions/reactions, and second, how you can make a permanent change to your life. If you were to take a moment to close your eyes and think for a moment about a recent, strong emotional experience – say the loss of a loved one, how you miss their conversations, touching them, holding them. Remembering how close you were to them, what they meant to you. Listened to their voice, felt their touch.  Remember the viewing, memorial or funeral. If you did this, pause for a moment and acknowledge how you feel…your emotions. Sad, upset, hurt, angry, depressed? Take another moment and realize how you look, what were your physical reactions. A frown, a stoic face, a blank stare out into space, perhaps your eyes teared up, or you even cried.

On the other hand, what if you thought about it like I do with my father, how he was a great dad, how he loved me, shaped me to be who I am today. I think about my phone calls to him almost every day and how they made him smile – that made me happy. As a Christian I know he is in Heaven and someday I will be with him, my mom and all those I love. If…if, you changed the way you thought about the loss of your loved one, and talked to yourself with happy and uplifting language, you would have noticed a change in your emotions, or feelings, to ones of genuine happiness, maybe even excitement. These emotions in-turn affected your actions or behaviors, predominantly facial features that included a smile.

What kind of emotions does, “Ah Crap! Another management initiative that’s just going to cause me problems.” evoke? Fear, anger, frustration? What about, “Damn, there’s just no way I’m going to lose this weight? Be able to handle this project? Failure? Sadness? Anxiety? What about this language…“Hmm, how can I use this situation to…help someone? advance my career? make my job easier?”? Empowered? Excited? Anticipation?

If you learn to understand the language of the mind, how it influences your feelings or emotions, and how those emotions drive your actions, reactions and behaviors, then you can understand how changing the conversations you have with yourself will change the way you feel, and how you feel will change how you respond. Instead of complaining about how something won’t work, ask yourself how it might. Instead of blaming others for the adversity in your life, ask how you might respond to it differently. Instead of worrying about things that haven’t happened, ask yourself, what can I do to prepare for, or prevent the unforeseen.  

Every thought you have is a seed, your results are the fruit. If you want tulips don’t plant ragweed. Watch for our next Rule and Tool For Success – Seek Congruency, where I’ll share how you can become fluent in a language that will drive success. In the meantime…Be extraordinary! When you can’t be extraordinary, be awesome instead.

SUCCESS RULE #38 Never Stop Learning

As the fall of each year arrives, the new school year brings about much hub-bub.  School shopping, last minute vacations, children getting back into the habit of going to bed early, parents rejoicing over children going to bed early, college students in transition and teachers making classrooms ready,  are all part of the final frenzy before that first day.  Do you remember those days?  You may not have the “back to school” syndrome, but you should never stop learning.   

Success is something that is ever changing.  What you know now to be successful, will not necessarily be what you need to know to stay successful.  Unless that is, you plan to stay in the position you‘re currently in for the rest of your life.  Even in that case, you will most likely be required to learn something new just to maintain the status quo.  

Over my many (and I won’t say how many) years of employment I have learned all sorts of things.  From how to properly scoop ice cream, to reading “specs” enabling me set up drill presses, to weighing garbage trucks, to operating a computer and its’ many programs, to being an executive assistant.  Most recently, I have learned how to design & build websites.  In each position, I have strived to be the best; the only way to do that was to keep learning.

In some instances, only professional training will do.  In many instances, informal learning is just as beneficial.  To learn Microsoft applications, I took formal classes.  To learn about web site design, I sat in the comfort of my own home and viewed webinars.  To be an executive assistant at LDI, I pulled from everything I already knew and learned as much as I could about LDI.  I am still learning!

Learning is not something you can always attribute to any one particular class or experience.  Some of it comes from the necessity of everyday life.  Ever been to a strange place and need to find your way around?  In the 21^st century, some folks use GPS(Global Positioning System).  Before you could use it, you had to learn how to operate it.  Before GPS, we used maps.  Somewhere you had to learn how to read and use one.  Every time you upgrade a cell phone, a computer, a car…you have to learn to use it.

Sometimes, it is a matter of re-learning.  The way you used to do something may not be the best way to do it.  So, you re-learn the better way.  This is especially true as your success grows.  As you come into contact with new people, new ideas, new situations, and new responsibilities – you need to learn to deal with each of these with an “I want to know more.” attitude. 

Train your mind to learn from everything around you.  Ask questions.  (See rule #23)  Whether it is in a classroom, a seminar, an on-line course or just observing people and things around you, you should never stop learning!

Learn something new today. Be Extraordinary!

Cindy Lee

Executive Assistant

Leader Development Institute