Year End Bonus – Tips to Endure

Once again a year is coming to its’ close.  The harried hustle seems to be contagious and can be overwhelming.  Retailers are gearing up for the end of year sales push, businesses are pulling together the end of year numbers, people are trying to fit one more thing into their already crowded calendars and school children are counting down the days until winter break.  For those of us living in the northern regions, we are pulling on our winter coats and trying to remember where we put that other glove.  Every year this happens and every year we make it through.

This month, instead of a “Success Rule”, I thought I’d pass along some tips to get you through with your sanity intact.  If you have been a “Success Rule” reader, some of these might look familiar.  But it is nice to have them all in one place to remind you of their need, especially at this time of year.

1.     Laugh! – Watch a favorite comedy show, go to a card store and read the cards in the “Humorous” section, spend time with people who make you laugh, watch crazy cat/dog/people videos on YouTube, play dress up with a 5-year old, there are so many ways to tickle your funny bone and now is the time!

2.     Cry! – The holiday season is often a hard time of year as we remember years gone by and the people who are no longer with us.  Trying to be cheery and bright can be a tall order.  Let yourself cry.  It’s alright to allow those tears to well up and fall from time to time.  Even sob if you must, it is cleansing.  Then pick yourself up, wipe your nose and refer to tip number one.  Of course, if you are truly depressed, seek help.  Talk to your doctor or a trusted friend.  There is no shame in admitting that you just aren’t coping too well with life right now.

3.     Sing! – Who cares if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket, sing anyway!  Everywhere you go at this time of year, Christmas music is playing.  If you don’t know the words, hum!  Need some cheer right now, how about “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”or “I Want A HippopotamusFor Christmas”

4.     Say No! – It seems that there are invitations to parties, family get-togethers, stores with that “Sale of the Year” that you can’t afford to miss, church events, cards to send, appointments to make, buying food, cooking food and, my favorite, eating food.   Nowhere is it written, or at least not that I could find, that you have to say yes to everything.   Do what you want to do and let the rest go.  Make a mental list, if not a physical one, of what is on your plate so to speak.  Prioritize the things that are most important to you.  If you run into a situation where you feel pushed to say yes, but would rather say no, be honest and say no.  A simple response I use is “I am sorry, but I can’t fit one more thing onto my plate right now.”  If someone is asking to spend time with you over the holiday season, and you would like to do that, suggest you get together in the New Year. 

5.     Give yourself a day off! -   Go to your calendar, date book, phone app or whatever right now, pick a day and mark it “My day off”.  Then stick to it! (See number 4 above)  That means, if someone asks you to do something that day, you say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I am already booked that day for something else.”  Of course, if it’s something you really and truly want to do, then do it as a treat to yourself.  Use that day to treat yourself to down time, do something you like, a hobby perhaps.  If you have a spouse and/or children, let them know it is your day off and they are on their own.  If you need to, go somewhere away from the stress. 

6.     Don’t Worry, Be Happy! – If doing numbers four and five seem out of your comfort zone, don’t worry, people will get over it.  If they don’t, they don’t.  In either case, do not allow others to steal your joy.  We are as happy as we make up our minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln

7.     Enjoy the sunshine! – Although the days are shorter, there is still some sunshine.  Perhaps not every day, but at some point, the sun does shine.  Get out in it whenever you can.  Too cold?  Open your blinds and just enjoy the view.  Remember, December 22 is the winter solstice.  After that, the days will start getting longer.

There are only a few weeks left in 2013, you may be surprised at how much better they can be if you follow these tips to endure and persevere.

Have a Great Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!  See you in 2014!

Executive Assistant

Leader Development Institute

www.LDiWorld.com

SUCCESS RULE # 51 - The Principle of Authority

“When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen”.  I’m sure you've seen commercials where a doctor, dentist, athlete or a celebrity has recommended a product. This is the principle of authority at work, suggesting, if doctors, dentist or E.F. Hutton recommends it, well, it must be worth having. Knowing how to use this same principle can add to your success as well.

When people interact with others who are in a position of authority we often feel a duty or obligation to comply with their requests. It’s a very powerful influential principle and should not be taken lightly. At the same time, if used appropriately if can lead to great success.

First, don’t confuse the authority approach of, “Because I’m your supervisor, mom, dad, etc”. Of course that is the principle of authority at work as well, and by virtue of your role as parent or boss it works, although not always and here is why. The principle of authority is based primarily on perception, if others believe you to be knowledgeable, trustworthy, wise . . . and you look the part, you will most likely have the ability to influence their decision/behavior. This is why you seem to have no influence with your teenage child. They think they know everything, you know nothing, and their BFF is THE expert on relationships and fashion. The same holds true for the rest of us, it’s the dentists who recommend toothpaste, the doctors who recommend diet pills, supplements and other pharmaceuticals, and athletes who recommend fitness equipment. Job titles, uniforms, and even accessories, like the way we dress, and the cars we drive lend an air of authority and can persuade others to accept what you say.  Like it or not you are being judged. If someone doesn't know you, they will often judge you in a blink of an eye, a millisecond, based on what they initially see or hear.

Certainly you've accomplished requests made of you simply because it was your boss who asked. But what if it’s your boss you are looking to influence, or your colleague, a customer, or an entire community?  “Because I said so.”, probably isn't going to work. When I was the physical security officer for my unit in Germany (pre 9-11), I had this crazy idea that when we would deploy for military exercises, instead of loading up my security team into jeeps and trucks, I was going to procure a military helicopter and escort our convoys by air. Although my fellow lieutenants jeered me for even thinking the leadership would allow this, much less be able to get my hands on an H-53 helicopter, using my previous background as a Pararescueman, familiar with helicopter deployment operations, as well as the logistics associated with scheduling aircraft, I easily persuaded my leadership to allow it, and the flying unit I approached to support it. Why did it work? a.) I had proven myself in the position of security officer with much smaller tasks and responsibilities, b.) My leadership was aware of my Pararescue background and experiences, sometimes formally, sometimes informally through “war stories”. c.) I introduced myself to the flying unit Director of Operations as a prior Pararescueman (if you are not familiar with USAF Pararescue, I invite you to Google it and search on YouTube for further understanding and why this helped to establish my authority). And d.) I approached them all with a high degree of confidence and professionalism.

Going forward, if you are going to use the principle of authority to influence others, consider these points:

1.      Know your job better than anyone else

a.      Rule # 5 Create your own niche

b.      Rule # 6 Make it look easy

2.      Dress the part

a.      Rule # 7 Know you are being judged

b.      Rule # 13 Dress for success

3.      Be trustworthy

a.      Rule # 10 Live by a set of rules

b.      Rule # 20 Don’t gossip

4.      Convey confidence

a.      Rule # 8 Cultivate a firm handshake

b.      Rule #14 Know what you want

c.      Rule # 43 Don’t let the insecurities of others affect your dreams

5.      Take 100% responsibility for your actions (don’t blame or complain)

a.      Rule # 21 Don’t Whine

b.      Rule # 32 Never Lie

c.      Rule #38 Never stop learning

6.      Monitor your emotions

a.      Rule # 39 Practice quieting the mind

7.      If speaking to others who may not know you, attempt to have someone else edify you.

a.      Rule # 30 Maintain a successes portfolio

8.      If you are not the expert, find the person(s) who is/are to champion your cause.

Finally, if you want to learn more about the science of influence, I highly recommend an expert blogger and speaker on the subject of influence, Brian Ahearn. I especially recommend his recent series on applying the principles of influence with different personalities. You can read and subscribe to Brian’s blog Here.

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Be Extraordinary!

Founder & CEO

Leader Development Institute

www.LDiWorld.com